#lower risk stuff y'know

[quill-n]

I think I'm gonna continue posting any animations I make + start working more on animatics in my free time.

[dwncata]

Hi I don't know how to format stuff to look nice I'll figure it out later shh but do y'all wanna see this delulu AU I made centered on Dottore and Boothill set in a universe where HSR Genshin and Cyberpunk elements are just thrown into a blender

Reposted from my AO3 fic, this will make no sense I'm sorry idk I like brainrotting about them a lot man nsmsbsjsb

--They're extremely ooc high-key I'm sorry lmao

Boothill glanced at his phone, then up at the barren, decrepit building before him, then back at his phone again. Yep, this was the place- even the rust stains on the walls matched. Felt more like an Abyss hideout than a ripper clinic, even bearing the warnings and rumors in mind- but he didn't exactly have many options.

He entered the building, and started descending the stairwell. This guy definitely knew how to keep himself away from people- even for someone who's seen hell up close and personal, the way metallic groans echoed around the space with every step gave him the creeps. Third floor down, there's supposed to be a door with the Fatui's emblem instead of a number... It was the only door on the floor, easy enough to find.

After few firm knocks, there was the light sound of footsteps before a disheveled man with blue hair slid the door open. He looked rather impatient, piercing red eyes boring into Boothill before he even spoke a word. "A patient, I'm assuming?"

The bags under his eyes felt like the result of long term unrest than a temporary sleep deprivation issue- For a ripper, the clothes he wore were very loose, tears and frays littering what looked like your average lower end jeans and tank top. Geometric flower designs were scrawled across his arms and chest as tattoos; yet even with such complex patterns, he had a concerning amount of scar tissue visible under the ink. Most of it seemed like burns, possibly chemical burns- but there were a few that seemed to be from knives or the like. This guy experienced a lot, that much you could tell at a glance.

Boothill gave a simple, upfront response. "Hopin' so. Y'see, I was askin' 'round these parts for a ripper who could help me with an... Unconventional request, if you catch my drift." The ripper let out a slight huff. "Specify, please." He spat the word out with annoyance, it seemed he was not one for beating around the bush.

"...Right. Wanna get myself as much chrome as 300k can buy. Was hopin' you'd help me figure out what works best for a guy like me, I'm not too keen on usin' blades or those heavy guns, y'know?"

The doctor's brow raised, unsure whether to feel skepticism or pity. "...You don't seem the wealthy type. Am I about to fuel a suicide mission?" He asked plainly, almost matter of fact- Boothill didn't quite know how to respond. Vengeance on a single target, no care in the world for after the fact- that was more or less the idea, he guessed.

Before he could piece together how to say it, the doctor continued. "Your response won't affect whether I do the work or not. I simply need to know if cyberpsychosis is a concern."

...Alright, he really just lays it out as is. "Well, I suppose I'd like to live after, but I won't wanna give up or risk losin' my target for anythin'." The doctor was silent for a second, then turned with a slight shake of his head. "Alright, sure. Come, then."

The "clinic" was the most bare bones place he could imagine. Operation chair, standing trays. A few organizers on counters for tools, and boxes further back with various cyberware. That was pretty much it.

However, he continued past, moving a curtain to a side room. Here, he kept his laptop, more storage boxes, and... There was an old couch, it was likely he slept here- That was all that was in the room.

"Take a seat, I'll be asking questions to see what'll work best for you." Boothill did just that, letting himself fall into the couch with a loud creak.

"Preferred weapons?"

Boothill answered easily, no hesitation. "I was a gunslinger before all this. Revolvers are my favorite- I could tell you all day about my preferences on those, but I'm guessin' that's not too relevant. But, when it comes down to someone in yer face, the boom of a shotgun's got its own charm- simple, effective, what more could ya need?" The doctor tilted his head slightly- as much as he's had his fair share of people who wouldn't shut up about themselves for the life of them, this client felt... Different? There was a certain air about the simple, yet genuine way he described his preferences, with a refreshing appreciation for the weapons themselves. It was a trivial difference, but... It was noticable enough, nonetheless.

"Heavy ranged preference, light-mid... Do you aim to enhance reactions or stamina more?"

"Probably reactions. If I'm gonna do this, I wanna get it done before too much backup arrives." ...Well, discreetness was very, very evidently not a factor with this one. Honestly, that just made it easier then. "Most people try to keep their intents private; but if you're gonna be so open anyways, I'll save us both time. What's your goal?"

Boothill sat up, taking the conversation a bit more at heart now. "I'm gonna pack some lead straight into Oswaldo Schneider's skull. I don't care what happens to me after then, but I will not let myself die until I see that motherfucker go with me."

Despite the heartfelt lament, the doctor's expression remained unchanged. "An IPC department head? I feel there's more issues on that plate aside from 'Weapons tune up.' Why him specifically? You know with them, it's the same shit regardless of whoever the bastard in front is."

The nomad shook his head, leaning back with a grimace. "Don't care. The orders given that destroyed my life were issued by the bastard. I don't got nothin' left, least I could do for myself at this point."

The doctor, not even looking through the cyberware on his screen anymore, wasn't sure how to proceed. He should just do the work, get his cut, and pretend he never saw this guy. None of this was his concern, and yet...

"...I don't think I can fulfill this request. There's too many variables and I can't properly define what your limit is in one shot. But I'll tell you what I can do." He typed up an estimate, summarizing a rather pricy operation; despite his half hearted word of caution on cyberpsychosis, this looked damn near a complete bodily rebuild.

Turning his laptop, he walked Boothill through his idea; a silhouette took form on his screen, text flying by as he explained. "90% of this is focused on reflexes, while giving as much smooth aiming as possible. A reinforced aluminum shell will leave you lighter on your feet, and you won't experience pain as much to slow you down. That being said, it'll be harder to tell when you've gone too far, and that won't take too many hits."

Boothill pointed the silhouette's head, which was a brighter red than the rest. "Wait, why so much in the brain? I don't do none of that netrunnin' stuff." The doctor rolled his eyes a bit with an exasperated sigh. "I could tell."

He pointed down along the silhouette's spine. "Your nerves all answer to your brain. The rest of the body isn't as bright because it's spread out, but your nerves will essentially be put on overclock. Your brain needs the ability to process that data and create responses at a matching pace, if it's gonna be useful. Though, I feel more of your interest would be here." He pointed at the silhouette's left arm. "EMP grenade launch system. Along with hand implants to create volatile tech weapon shots, and reduce recoil."

A toothy smile took its place on Boothill's face, but it fell as soon as he saw the cost- a little over 500,000 credits. "Hey, uh. I don't mean to be 'that guy', but when I said 300, I meant 300- I don't got another sum like that just sittin' around. It took a lot to get this together, y'know."

The doctor shook his head, lazily waving his hand. "I'm aware, that wasn't your price. That's the next part, consider this a bit of an experiment." He took the laptop back, and started typing again.

"Labor will be heavily discounted if you report back to me how you feel every now and then. I haven't met a client with this strong of a death wish; usually they're either begging for scraps, or have safety concerns of some kind. But you have the credits, so at the very least I'll be properly compensated for the hardware itself. Currently, you don't have much cyberware at all, so I can't say there's gonna be good results having it all put in you at once. I'm not moving anytime soon, and I'd assume you have no idea on Oswaldo's personal whereabouts yet?"

Boothill's eyes shifted a bit. "...Yeah. Got a few leads I'm followin', but since I managed to reach a good place with savin's, I figured gettin' chromed up sooner than later would speed that up a lil." The ripperdoc kept typing, explaining details and warnings of various cyberware he planned on implementing, in what stages, how often to check in... Boothill wasn't able to remember much of it, but he trusted he was in good enough hands.

"Alright, then. I'll do half labor, so 230,000 in total- including follow ups and the like. I'd assume you plan on paying it all upfront?" After all the technical jargon, Boothill had to focus in again to make sure he heard that right. "Wait- as in, that's the total total for everythin'? Runnin' yerself a lil dry there, aren'cha?" The doctor quietly sighed, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"I don't see why you'd want to pay extra, nor if you're truly in a position to do so- but I'll take any free credit you're offering." Boothill shook his head, growing slightly weary for the first time in all of this.

"That's like sayin' not to look a gift horse in the mouth. But you're right, we've got this far- is it really that dangerous?" The doctor shrugged. "I wouldn't say dangerous per se, more unknown than anything. Again, I expect you to return and report how you feel from time to time."

That was fine, then. He had a feeling there was something else influencing the ripper's choices right now... He'd have plenty of time to figure it out, though. "...Right. Could ya send me a text or somethin' to summarize it? Just to be safe, n' all."

The doctor replied, expressionless. "I had already planned to. You'll get a text from me later, save it under the name Zandik."

Boothill was surprised at the name- everyone who spoke of him used a title, "Il Dottore". Evidently, Zandik noticed his expression shift.

"Yes, consider it private knowledge or whatever you'd like; I don't normally have repeat clients, and I'd rather not be referred to as 'Doc' during follow ups."

Boothill glanced away, nodding awkwardly. "Ah- you got it, Zandik."

The doctor had already begun sifting through boxes- he waved his hand vaguely towards the other room. "Transfer the funds and lay on the chair, I'll be out in a bit."

It all felt a bit surreal, but hell, he wasn't complaining. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, but he felt he was about to get the tune up of a lifetime- and his first friend in this new life.

---

[kitausuret]

I am disappointed in you, Michaela. PeterMac? SERIOUSLY?!

Listen, anon, sometimes you just see something and it's - it's funny, okay? Sometimes it just makes you giggle. But because you had the gall to call me by my given name on my blog like you're my mother, I'm going to write a little snippet for you. 💖

-----

"This is how you thank me, Mac? For all the times I saved your life?"

Scorpion wiggled mostly-helpless in his web-cocoon, dangling from a tall lightpost and trying to get his suit's tail free. "Saved it? Saved it?! You cocky, stupid, spandexed bastard, I'll tear you and that son of a bitch Jameson limb from limb from limb until you're both-"

"Ah, leave old Jonah alone. He's just too cranky to retire." Spider-Man lowered himself down a line until he was face to face with his foe. "What happened to the ol' Alchemax job, Mac?"

"What's it to you, bug."

"Come on, Scorpy; I know you know by now that spiders are arachnids." He tilted his head. "Hey, I'm serious. We've known each other too long to not be honest with each other." He reached out to give two gentle knocks on Scorpion's armored helmet.

Mac responded in kind by trying to twist himself enough to bite him. (Not even danger enough to set off the trusty spider-sense.)

"Careful, there. You don't have dental anymore. You don't wanna be needing another jaw surgery."

Something flashed over his face then - a kind of momentary panic.

...okay, maybe not the best thing to say.

Then the old anger came. "You- you broke my jaw clean off that day, you fucking-"

"Look, would you believe me if I said it wasn't me?"

"Then who the fuck else was it."

"I'm hardly the only Spider-Man." He pointed a finger in Mac's face, mostly out of some kind of cruel self-amusement to see if the Scorpion would try to bite him again. "Hell, even you tried on the alias for a while. Osborn's little errand-Venom."

"That... that ain't me anymore."

"See, then? People change."

Scorpion gave a heavy, tired kind of sigh. He seemed to finally give up the attempts to wriggle out of the bindings. "If you gotta know, I figured the Alchemax gig was too good to last anyways. So I got mixed up with the Black Cat and her crew. She was a good boss, y'know? Probably the best I had, next to Miss Allan. And then Venom put me in the fuckin' ICU."

"Sorry I forgot to send flowers."

"No you're not. You were workin' with him."

"Which one?"

"Ain't you got somethin' better to do, Spider? I don't hear sirens yet. Guy like me, they usually come a little quicker."

"Well..." Spider-Man did a little spin on his webline, contemplating. "You were breaking and entering an old OsCorp building. But you didn't actually steal anything. And me, I don't have a lot of love for that man's legacy." He stopped to flip himself right-side-up. "You still have Liz Allan's contact, Mac?"

"Why?"

"The lady's got an ever-growing corporate nightmare. She could probably use a reliable security guy again."

He grabbed the bundle of heavily-armored supervillain in his arm, turned Scorpion upright again, and then yanked at the webline until it tore free. Then, he carried his protesting bundle off to a nearby rooftop and tossed him onto it.

"Wh- hey! What're you doing!"

Spider-Man rolled the bundle over and stopped it with his foot, leaning down to look Mac in the eyes. "All right, here's what's gonna happen. In about 45 more minutes, this stuff is gonna dissolve enough for you and your fancy green suit to break out. Tomorrow morning, you're going to give Liz Allan a call. You're going to get on your knees and beg her for your job back."

"I don't owe that broad-"

"Hey, stop that. She's an old friend." He stepped down harder - not enough to risk even cracking the armor, but enough to apply pressure. "In exchange, you don't get sent back to Ryker's. All right?"

Mac stared up at him.

"It'd be real easy to roll you right off this roof."

"You wouldn't."

"You're sure about that?"

"...fine. I'll give it a shot."

"Good man." He patted Mac's cheek. After a moment, he rolled his mask up to his nose and leaned down to plant a kiss on the visor covering his old foe's eyes.

Scorpion made a disgusted noise, but didn't protest further.

[top-tier-tickles]

Kids These Days Have No Manors...

This is an Andy's Apple Farm tickle fic suggested by @y0ur-l0c4l-bl0ger. I hope you enjoy!

______________________________________

Halloween usually meant fun, candy and stuff, right? Not tonight, it would seem. As usual, Andy the apple found himself being dragged to an old abandoned mansion.

The group had split up (after they BROKE IN, mind you), Andy was with Melody and Felix, looking at the lower levels, while Margaret and Claus checked out the upstairs.

The rotted door opened with a sickening creak, revealing barely visible concrete steps down to the basement.

"Ohhh, I knew it was a bad idea to come in here..." the apple, (who had a whole orange-black witch costume on), shivered, taking quick glances at his surroundings.

"Oh, come on, Andy. You can't just spend your whole life scared of everything." Felix, (who was dressed as a skeleton), turned to him, shining the flashlight in his face.

"I-I am NOT scared of everything! Just creepy haunted basements..."

"It's so dark. I can't see anything!" Melody, (who was dressed as an angel), said.

"I only brought one flashlight, man." Felix said.

"Wait, I know!" The moon said, suddenly glowing brightly.

"I-I not even gonna ask how you did that..." the fish stuttered, turning away.

"Oh hush! Now, we can see!" She put her hands on her hips.

Their vision now clearer, they saw that the place was a lot more dingy than they realized. Mold and dirt caked every surface, not to mention the dust that flew into the air with every step the trio took.

"Guys...We really should leave....Like RIGHT NOW!" Andy urged. He just wanted to go home, there was some nice Halloween candy waiting for him at home.

"Andy, what's the matter with you? Yiu can't possibly be THIS scared of an empty basement." Felix said.

"Like heck I can't! And there's also the added risk. We could get sick from here! And-"

"Ohhhh, guys look!" Melody interrupted them.

The moon pointed to another door, it looked the same as the first, but dirtier, and were those......dried bloodstains.....

"GUYS! We need to LEAVE! I'm not going in there, and you can't MAKE me!" Andy said, fed up with all of this.

"Whoa, easy there, this is all in good fun..."

"Y'know, Felix, I think we should hear him out... I'm getting a bad feeling about this..."

"Oh, Melody, not you too. Fine, tell you what. We'll go back up, get Claus and Margaret, leave and forget this ever happened right now. If, and ONLY IF, you admit to being a scaredy fruit." Felix egged on Andy.

"What?! No way!"

"Fine then."

"Wait! I'm still not going!"

"Well, what's it gonna be? Admit it, or go in this room?"

"Neither!"

Felix turned to Melody, winking as he nodded his head, whatever signal that was, she got it.

"Ohhh, Well if you won't make a decision, we'll make it for you!" She said, the pair walking closer to Andy.

"H-How?"

"By.......TICKLING YOU!" Felix and Melody launched themselves onto their friend, rapidly tickling his torso.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GUYS GUYS GUHUHUHUHUHUYS! HEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Andy thrashed about, nearly falling to the floor before the others caught him.

"NEHEHEHEHEHEHE! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Just make a choice and all of this stops!"

"NEHEHEHEHEHEHE-NEHEHEHEHEVER!"

"Okay....Melody, get his ribs!"

"NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHOHOHO DOHOHOHOHOHON'T! STAHAHAHAHAHAPIT!"

"Kitchy-kitchy-koo! We got you, Andy!"

"Yeah, man, you ain't getting out of this."

"PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Pretty soon, Andy was in stitches, Melody still working on his ribs, while Felix got his belly.

In all the fuss, Andy's witch hat had flewn off, floating onto the crusty floor. He's not touching that ever again.

But it did bring Melody's attention to his stem as it bounced around when Andy wiggled.

She grabbed the sides of his head, pulling him so the stem was at her level.

"Is your stem ticklish?" She asked, slowly dragging her finger up and down it. No response, until she hit the area around the base, and hoo boy-

"AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE NOHOHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHOT THERE!" The apple shrieked.

"What on earth is going on down there?!" A British voice called from atop the stairs.

Claus, (dressed as a cat), and Margaret, (honestly I don't know wtf she is,) rushed down the steps.

"We were comin' down from upstairs, when we heard Andy screamin'! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, we were just down here, and Andy was being a baby, so we tickled him...." Felix answered, holding the dizzy apple.

"Well, dear god, we thought you were being murdered!" Claus said.

"Heh. Sorry." Melody giggled.

Margaret held Andy, Felix stepping back to the door.

"Okay, now that we're all here, let's see what's in here!"

Felix slowly cracked the old door open, freezing on the spot once he got a peek inside.

"Felix, what's wrong?" Melody asked, peeking as well.

"We need to get out of here. Now." The fish said, barely above a whisper.

"W-What?"

"ANDY, YOU CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO LATER WE NEED TO LEAVE!" Felix repeated, shouting.

The gang soon bolted through the house and out the door, running an extra few yards for good measure.

"What was in there?"

"It's not important....everyone here?"

Melody did a headcount. Yep. All here.

Catching their breath, the gang returned to Andy's house for bad horror movie marathon.

On about the third movie, everything had calmed down. Felix even laughed about it.

"Wow, whichever one of you put those fake bodies in that basement really outdid themselves." He said.

Funnily enough, none of them could recall putting bodies in the basement...

______________________________________

THE END.

[gatalentan]

That’s so- AHW. Barbara being reluctant about a escort-guard and wanting freedom and Melissa being passionately devoted and protective and THEY forming an alliance and being an united front after some time aND they falling in love but not admitting AND Melissa teaching Barb how to fight and they sneaking out to have time alone and I’m feeling a lot of feelings AND GERARD BEING SO LORD THAT BARBARA IS SUPPOSED TO MARRY AND OH MY GOD

You're welcome!! Glad you liked it. I like writing stuff but I can't ever promise I'll be able to respond to all prompt ideas bc I can't really control which ones hit the button that lets me actually write anything (it has recently been A Struggle) so I only ask if I don't respond to an ask you understand it's not me ignoring anyone personally (tho I don't know who you are since you folks don't sign your messages so it can't rly be personal fjkssh but you know what I mean). If I help give anyone even a smidgen of brainworms that would encourage them to write this kinda AU (or any other) I GREATLY encourage it and will even kiss you on the mouth (or hand. or just make you marinara.)

Yes I have lots of similar thoughts!!! I like your ideas a lot it's a very fun au to think about bc you can easily draw comparison lines of "I am potentially lowering my status/reputation if I get caught being in cahoots with you but it's worth the risk" / "I am in your shadow but i'm just happy to get to be near you and protect your light" / "I wouldn't kill for anyone except Barbara" unconventional moral code / "I shook someone down for us (using her status/negotiation skills as a weapon instead of brute force, their skillsets are ying and yang just as much in this universe)... that can so easily be drawn back to show ww that I'm like. ah! And also. Y'know. We love a sword. A bonding by the campfire on a perilous horse and cart journey moment where there's a threat in the woods. A teaching the noble how to defend themself moment that involves a lot of Meaningful Touches that are also about having good fighting form. A peeling off armour moment. A putting ON armour moment. A shaking hair out of a helmet moment. An untieing a corset moment and a bodice rip-(REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED).

[totallyuseless-ugh]

Across the Campus

Chapter Four: Taking more Steps

7:12 AM

For the time that Pico was still out getting their morning coffee was Darnell already out on the balcony, his eyes either on his phone or darting around the campus in hopes of seeing CJ. He knew that it would still take a few more minutes before they were due to show up. But he was too impatient to act as rationally as he wanted to.

“So, what’re the news of the day?” Pico announced his presence. He did not want to run the risk of scaring Darnell into dropping his phone, even though it would not be a very long fall from the second floor down onto the grass below.

“Oh wouldn’t you want to know,” Darnell scoffed jokingly and pocketed his phone. “If you wanna partake in my life, how 'bout you get back in the dorm before dark?”

“It’s not my fault basketball training starts so late!” Pico pressed the full coffee mug into his friend’s hands while taking a sip from his own. “Now quit pretending to be so mysterious and tell me the good stuff.”

“Well.. mom asked how things were going for us so far. I’m pretty sure she tried to get some info out of me so she can send a ‘care package’ sometime soon.”

“I hope she sends some of her delicious rugelach then,” the redhead hummed dreamily.

“Just so you can eat them when I’m not around? Yeah, fat chance, man.”

“Was worth a shot,” Pico shrugged off his defeat. His eyes wander across the view in front of him as he awaited CJ’s arrival. And sure enough, they showed up at the exact minute as always. Darnell smiled and briefly put his mug down to wave back at them with an amount of confidence that got Pico laughing. “Since when do you have the guts for this?”

Darnell briefly bit his lower lip in an attempt to stop his grin from growing wider. “Oh y'know, since I got their number.” It felt great to say it out loud. And it got only better to see the look of utter confusion on his friend’s face.

“I’m sorry, what?!”

“You heard me,” Darnell pulled up his chat with CJ to show it to Pico. There were not a lot of messages yet, but that did not matter in this moment. “Turns out, CJ and I are in the same biochem course.”

“CJ you say?” As if the text conversation would help him continued Pico to look at the screen, trying to recall something. “I think I heard someone mention them around me recently..”

“Wouldn’t surprise me. They do football here, 'n for a couple of years too. Probably made a name for themself already.”

“Eh, not sure if sports was the topic of conversation there. But I wasn’t exactly trying to eavesdrop then, so I dunno for sure.” Pico dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand and went back to drinking his beverage. Darnell shrugged as he was none the wiser and pocketed his phone again.

The two continued to watch CJ follow their usual routine, waving one last time to Darnell before leaving to finish the rest of their run. “So,” the redhead spoke up again, vaguely gesturing to his friend with his own mug. “Now that you have made contact with the object of your attraction, how do you plan to make further advances?”

Darnell’s head hung down from his shoulders as he took a deep breath. “What the fuck just possessed you to suddenly sound like you’re crammin’ words into a 300-word essay? Jeez..” He pinched the bridge of his nose briefly before glancing over to his friend with a dry smile. “No clue. I was gonna try to focus on classes first instead of immediately ruining my first semester with some heartbreak, y’know?”

“Oh, come on!” Pico lightly jabbed at Darnell’s shoulder in an attempt to lighten his mood. “At least give things a try. You said you both have a course together, right? Then ask them if you two could meet up to study later today, easy!”

“Sure. Go ahead, plan all of my stuff for me while you’re at it. Why not call my mom and tell her what holidays I’m gonna be home for, too?”

“Man, you really are a downer today. What’s wrong?”

“Ugh.. I dunno. S’pose I don’t feel like I got a chance, so I shouldn’t entertain the idea of it too much.”

“Bullshit. Get your phone out.”

Darnell reluctantly followed his friend’s order, unlocking the screen and waiting for the next step.

“Go on, ask CJ how long they got classes for today. Schedule a study date with them!”

"I'd die before I ask them for any sort of 'date'." Darnell shot a brief glare over at Pico. He stared back down at his phone for a few moments before his thumb finally began to type something into the message bar. Although Darnell was not all too sure how to phrase his question, he tried writing at least something. “’Hey, when is your last class today? Maybe we could study together afterwards.’ That good?”

“If you think so, send it.”

“I dunno, man!”

“Ey, I’m not gonna dictate your damn texts! It’s supposed to sound like you after all!”

Darnell groaned at the lack of help from Pico. He read over his text once more before hesitantly hitting the send button. The message was soon marked as ‘sent’, so there was no going back. “Guess I gotta wait now..”

“Yep. And I’ll be on my way to class,” Pico said his goodbye before leaving the balcony again. On this particular day, Darnell had no classes before 11:30 AM. But he still chose to wake up at the same time as every other morning. Simply to talk with Pico after he came back into the dorm so late the night before. He took his time drinking up his coffee since there was nothing better for him to do. The empty mug in his hand eventually gave Darnell an idea, picking up Pico’s from the desk on his way out of the dorm room.

Down the wide hall of the building was the communal kitchen. Most students were already out for class or still sleeping in (be it by accident or on purpose), so it did not surprise Darnell to find the space empty. He set the mugs down in the sink and let somewhat-warm water slowly fill it up. While he waited placed Darnell his phone on the free kitchen counter and loosely bunched his dreadlocks together to fix them up into a simple ponytail. He was not going to spend much time here anyway, all Darnell wanted was to have his hair out of his face for a minute.

His mind began to wander as he finally started working on the mundane task of washing out the coffee residue out of the mugs.

Courses were still rather easy, so it was no problem to keep up with the material so far. But regardless, he was not feeling confident enough to visit his family for any holidays in the middle of the semester. Darnell was not looking forward to having that call with his mother, despite knowing that she would be understanding of his decision.

Just as he was thinking about the inevitable, yet important conversation was Darnell pulled from his thoughts by the sound his phone made. The screen flashed on, presenting him with a new message notification. It took Darnell a quick second to remember he was actually still waiting on a response from CJ. He dropped everything and hastily dried his hands off on a towel before picking up his phone and check the message. And sure enough, CJ had finally answered Darnell’s text.

“Great idea! I got time after 3:45pm”

*

Darnell stepped out of the elevator as he returned from his final class of the day. All he wanted to do throw his bag into a corner and drop on his bed for the rest of the day. But he knew he had other plans for today, so there was not a lot of time for him to rest. Darnell opened his door and was met with the sight of Pico walking around their shared room while talking on the phone.

“No, dad. I can’t come over to fix your computer. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll try to help best I can from here.”

Darnell waved while sneaking into the room, Pico giving him a small nod as acknowledgement.

“.. because I am at least three hours away from home, and it’s the middle of the week. Now, did you make sure the cables are all plugged in?”

The redhead sat on his bed as he listened to his father explaining what seemed to be the problem. But Darnell did not listen in on the conversation, instead emptying out his bag to swap out most contents for his studying materials. He assumed that by the time he would be leaving the room, CJ would probably already be waiting for him in their own dorm.

“Always the damn same..” Pico muttered as he plopped backwards onto his bed after ending the call.

“Was it the cables?”

"He must've loosened one while vacuuming," The redhead answered with a tired nod. “This is what you get when you go to uni for IT. You become the family tech hotline.”

“You sure have a tough job. I hope it pays you well at least,” Darnell joked, picking up his jacket and bag to head out.

“Ey, where are you going now, getting dinner? Whatever you order, I want the same!”

“Tough luck, today is my turn on coming back late at night.”

“You’re no fun, man. Alright, have fun being a boring, responsible adult.”

"Someone has to take on that role here after all," Darnell joked and waved to his friend on his way outside.

Finding his way to the other dormitory was very easy. The building stood between the library and art department, so it was no surprise to see the walls decorated with highly detailed murals in a diverse range of art styles. The lack of signatures however made it unclear whether these were approved projects by the university, or if the councils did not want to spend money on removing the art and simply pretended it was all intentional. At least that is what Darnell would do if he were in that situation.

On the ground floor was a large lounging area with couches, chairs, and beanbags which were all currently in use. Apparently, a larger group was having a gathering to plan a project for their class together. Darnell did not pay them any mind as he walked over to the elevator. He might have considered taking the stairs, if it were not for the fact that CJ had their room on the fourth floor.

The upper floor had a similar spacious layout as Darnell’s dorm building. It still took him a few moments to find the correct room number though. Before he reached his destination opened one of the doors, and a latina woman left the room. “I’ma head out. See ya-“ She looked over as she noticed Darnell approaching, flashing him a quick smile. “Lemme guess, you Jay’s buddy?”

“I mean- I came here to study with ‘em,” Darnell answered and shrugged his shoulders.

“Thought so. I’m Rika,” the woman offered him a fist-bump and patted him on the back as she left. “Have fun being nerds!”

Darnell’s gaze followed Rika for a few more seconds before CJ’s voice caught his attention. “Nells!” The tall blonde chimed as they came out of the same room, making their visitor smile with seemingly no effort at all. “Come on in, get comfy!”

Taking up on the invitation followed Darnell CJ back inside. The dorm was bigger compared to the one Darnell and Pico shared, clearly to fit in a third person. There were three bunk beds with desks and closets set under them, and the free corner at the end of the room contained a collection of beanbags and two small tables to create a lounging area by the window. One table was already occupied with CJ’s biochemistry book and what looked like their notes from class.

“I gotta be honest with you,” Darnell warned CJ as he settled down by the other table and began emptying his bag. “I haven’t studied together with someone since middle school, so I have no idea how we’re gonna do this.”

“Oh, no worries! I already made some notes on what I wanted to look into. Don’t take it the wrong way, but I felt like you’d be the right guy to ask about stuff I don’t understand well.” CJ gestured to a small list they had written previously.

Darnell took a moment to read over it, trying to recall roughly what he would need to look for. He then nodded to himself and quickly began flipping through one of his books. Since he had used the book before a couple of times knew Darnell pretty much off the top of his head on which page one of the topics was introduced.

“You really got this stuff memorized, huh?”

Darnell shrugged with a small grin on his lips. “I just got a thing for chemistry. Was kind of a no-brainer for me to pick it as my major.”

“Sounds like you already got plans on what you’ll do after graduating then.”

“Would it be too cliché if I’d say I wanna be a teacher?”

CJ let out a small laugh. “Cliché? Maybe. But honestly, it kinda suits you. In a good way, of course.”

“Aw, thanks!” Darnell’s lips curled up into a wide grin that was wider than he wanted CJ to possibly see. But even if he were to try, there was no chance he could hide his smile.

The mention of their majors had gotten him curious. He turned his eyes back to the book he brought, marking the page with a sticky note before searching for the next page in an attempt to come across as more unbothered than he actually was. “'Nd what are your plans with your music major? Y’know, since most people would’ve already stopped after getting their bachelor’s.”

“Honestly? I mostly study music because it’s my.. passion. I’ll try to get my DMA, so I guess I could become a private music teacher afterwards. But my hopes are that my band pops off first.”

“Oh shit, you got a band?” Darnell’s eyes grew big. He stared at CJ. Not in disbelief, but sheer amazement and interest to hear more.

The tall blonde laughed at the sight. “Nothin’ big yet though. We’re still trying to find our style and get our music out there.” CJ gestured to the unused space under the free bunk bed which housed some equipment, including an electric guitar and bass. Both were covered in worn-off and partially scratched stickers, showing how much the instruments were being handled on a regular basis.

Darnell took a few moments to properly look at the guitar. Based on the mix of colors and sticker designs, he assumed that CJ would most likely be the one to play it opposed to the bass. It generally fit more into their type of aesthetic, the clashing of dark hues and call-to-action slogans against oppression alongside bright, silly, and cute animals or texts making similar statements.

And although his interest was piqued to learn more about the music CJ made, now was not the time for it. He would ask about it some other time, learn more about them as a person. “Alright, let’s get into biochem,” he announced in a soft sigh.

“Right,” CJ sat up a bit more straight as if to show they were paying attention. “We’re studying here, no more interruptions.”

The study session was very productive, helping CJ to fully understand the material while Darnell got to further internalize it for himself. Though, their conversation occasionally drifted away from the topic at hand every once in a while.

But neither of the two seemed to ever be bothered whenever that happened.

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [four] // wanda maximoff

summary: taking Wanda to meet your parents wasn't the best decision in hindsight...

warning/s: none i don't think?

author's note: i’m not sure what to say other than sorry in advance oops

part one | part two | part three | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

The restaurant my parents chose wasn't too flashy but rather comforting and homely, with an Italian theme and matching cuisine. It was bustling with people, but it didn't take long for Wanda and I to find my parents sat at the back waiting for us.

"You gonna be okay?" I asked, glancing at her with a comforting squeeze of the hand.

"I've got you, haven't I?" she asked playfully, her accent thicker than usual as she spoke. And though she was joking, I knew there was truth to her words which sent the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy.

"You're cute," I said with adoration, appreciating how lovely her eyes looked in the dimly-lit restaurant. "Come on."

Hand in hand, we approached my parents' table and I had hopes that tonight would go well. My parents weren't exactly intimidating – at least anyone I'd ever known hadn't got that impression – but I still worried for Wanda. Unlike her, I couldn't read minds, so I couldn't tell if she was actually looking forward to tonight or if she was just doing it for me.

"Y/N, you're here!" my mum exclaimed with a grin when she spotted me.

"I am," I said with a nervous smile, before motioning to Wanda. "And so is Wanda, my girlfriend."

"Yes, Y/N mentioned you would be coming," my mum said with a friendly smile, looking to Wanda, before motioning to the table. "Please, sit, sit."

I squeezed Wanda's hand gently before pulling out a chair for her. She smiled at me appreciatively before I took a seat beside her, facing my parents.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Wanda," my dad said with a nod. "Y/N mentioned you plenty of times when we'd call to catch up with her."

"You, too," Wanda spoke politely. "Both of you. Y/N told me that you're travelling the world, is that right?"

I leaned on my hand and glanced at Wanda, who shot me a mischievous smile. Quirking a brow, I mentally applauded her. Getting my parents to talk about their travels was an easy way of bonding with them – they would tell every server and customer in this restaurant about their travelling if they could. She'd cracked them instantly.

I'm just that good, milashka (cutie).

Trying not to laugh as her words echoed in my mind because of her powers, I leaned back into my seat and listened in as my parents went into a ramble about their ongoing adventures. This was pretty much how the rest of the evening went, as the four of us dined on expensive wine and delicious pizza. They seemed to be getting along well, with Wanda asking all the right questions and giving them her picture-perfect smile that impressed all the elders. Heck, she was even impressing me.

Naively, I appreciated how well the evening was going until my parents decided to talk to Wanda about her career.

"So, Y/N mentioned you're one of those Revengers," my mum remembered as we ate.

"Avengers," I corrected her, mildly embarrassed.

Wanda chuckled, glancing at me, before nodding. "Yes, I am. For over a year now, I've been working with them."

"Them being Iron Man, Captain America, the Black Widow...?" my dad asked, looking up as if trying to remember the rest, further embarrassing me.

"Those are the ones," Wanda quipped with a nod.

My mum hummed in response as my dad nodded before leaning back in his seat and eyeing Wanda curiously.

"I can't imagine your job is the safest," he began. "You protect people from threats, right? Keep them safe."

Wanda seemed caught off guard, but recovered quickly. "It's got it's... dangers, yes. But I can handle myself. I've got powers and I know how to use them."

"You do," my dad agreed, before his eyes flickered to me briefly. "But Y/N doesn't. She's just a regular human."

I set my fork down on my plate and looked to him calmly. "Dad, what are you saying?"

"No, it's fine," Wanda said reassuringly, resting her hand on my leg under the table. I grabbed it and held it as she continued to speak to my father. "Y/N doesn't have powers, you are correct."

"And dating an Avenger, I can imagine, must put a huge target on her back," he said with concern, and my mum nodded in agreement. "How can we be certain that she is safe?"

"Dad!"

"Your father is right, Y/N," my mum said, giving me a look, before her expression softened as she looked to a startled Wanda. "We're not implying that you're incapable, Wanda. We can clearly see that you care about our daughter. And you're a lovely person. You're pretty much perfect."

Wanda swallowed hard. "But?"

My mother frowned. "But dating you is bound to put our Y/N in danger. She could get hurt just for being involved with you, with your friends. She doesn't have powers to protect herself. And I can't imagine you're around her all the time to keep her safe."

As angry as I was at my parents for saying this stuff – even if they were saying it out of love – memories of the incident flashed to mind. They were right, but it was a risk I'd accepted when dating Wanda. What good was it doing by bringing this up now?

Noticing Wanda's silence, I spoke up instead. "I appreciate your concern, guys, but I'm an adult. I understand the danger I may be put in by being with Wanda. But I love her and I know that she is here for me if anything were to ever happen."

"We know," my father said, giving me a small nod. "We just thought we'd share our opinion anyway. It's been weighing on us for a while is all."

I sighed quietly. I couldn't exactly fault them for that.

"Anyway, never mind that," my mum said, setting down her fork. "Now that we've got that out the way, let's order some dessert, yeah? Our treat."

Nodding, I let my parents get excited as they perused the dessert menus before them. Instead, I looked to the quiet brunette beside me and saw how lost in thought she was, eyes focused on the table and stuck in a daydream.

With the hand that was holding hers, I patted her hand with my thumb to earn her attention. She looked up suddenly, questioning gaze falling to me. I frowned and quirked a brow, wondering if she was okay. She forced a smile my way, squeezing my hand reassuringly, but I didn't believe her. I also couldn't question it right in front of my parents, so I decided to speak with her later.

Dessert went by quickly as Wanda, suddenly, wasn't very talkative. I didn't know if my parents noticed, but I sure did and I felt extremely guilty. If I had known of my parents' concerns, I never would have brought Wanda to meet them tonight.

After the evening came to a close and we all stepped out of the restaurant, I expected to be going home with my parents since we lived together, but they claimed they had more plans together tonight.

"Wow, you guys have more of a social life than we do," I joked when they told me to make my own way home.

Wanda barely smiled and I felt bad.

"We'll be back in a few hours," my mum promised, before pulling me in for a hug. "Tonight was fun. A great final night before we leave tomorrow."

I returned the hug and as I gave my dad one, I heard Wanda thanking my mum for the lovely evening halfheartedly. After saying our final goodbyes, Wanda led me to her car in silence, giving me time to try and put some jumbled thoughts together coherently.

As she had been for the past hour, Wanda was quiet on the drive back to my place. Whenever I would glance in her direction, she'd be chewing on her lip and focusing on driving, though the blank expression on her face made me think that maybe she was distracted. It didn't take a genius to know she was thinking about my parents' words and I suddenly felt guilty for putting that all on her.

"I'm sorry," I blurted halfway through the journey. "I'm sorry for what they said. It wasn't fair of them, I know that. They just... they meant well, Wanda, they really did." I tucked my hands under my thighs, wincing as their words echoed in my mind. "It doesn't change anything though, y'know? We're still us. We're still okay. I don't want you to feel like anything's changed because it hasn't."

I paused, swallowing hard, and glanced her way. She didn't even look my way, still in the same position as she was before I started to speak. Looking back to the road ahead, I let out a disappointed sigh, figuring she wasn't in a talking mood. I didn't blame her, but I hoped she would have understood what I meant.

The remainder of the drive was like this, Wanda deep in thought and me huddled under an imaginary blanket of guilt. When we finally reached my house, she turned the engine off and I waited for her to say something, literally anything. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel mindlessly and I figured she was out of words for tonight.

"I'll ring you in the morning," I mumbled quietly, opening the car door. "If you want to speak, that is."

Leaving her there, I grabbed my bag and headed to the front door, but stopped when I heard her get out the car, too. Waiting, I turned around and watched as she approached me, eyebrows knitted in thought.

"Please say something," I said with pleading eyes.

She licked her lips, biting her lower lip so hard I'm surprised she didn't draw blood. Finally, she released it and looked to me with apologetic eyes.

"Your parents were right," she said.

I blinked with confusion. "What?"

She nodded, looking down at her shoes momentarily. "They were right, what they said. My life puts you in danger."

"Yeah, I know," I agreed, crossing my arms. "I knew that when I got with you, but that doesn't change anything."

She gave a disbelieving smile. "Seriously? Y/N, that changes everything."

"No, it doesn't," I told her sternly, growing frustrated. "This is the stuff you sacrifice when you love someone."

She sighed, shaking her head and looking away. "You shouldn't have to."

"But I chose to," I said, clenching my jaw.

"Don't you remember what happened last time?" she asked, stepping forward and holding my hand. "The incident?"

"We said we wouldn't talk about that," I reminded her with a low voice.

"But you remember, right? When they took you and I wasn't there? They could've hurt you!"

"Shut up!" I told her, raising my voice. Pulling my hand away from hers and taking a step back, I continued, "Why are you saying that? You came! You helped me!"

"But what if they did something to you before I got there?" she snapped. "What if I hadn't got to you on time?"

The memories came spilling into my mind, escaping the locked box I kept them in. Tears burned the corner of my eyes as I tried to think about anything else.

"You remember how scared you were?" Wanda asked, frowning at me with exasperated eyes. "You couldn't be by yourself for weeks!"

"Why are you doing this?!" I yelled, clenching my fists. "Why are you trying to frighten me?!"

"Because you should be frightened!" she retorted, stepping closer to me. Her dark green eyes were swirling storms of rage as she added, "It could happen again!"

I shoved her away from me, pinching the bridge of my nose with annoyance. Tears slipped from my eyes at the terrifying memory of what happened, what could have gone wrong, but I ignored them as I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Why the hell was she acting like this? Making me so angry at her for no reason?

"It's not even just that," she continued, jaw tensed. "How many times do I get hurt because of work and you get worried?"

"That's because I care about you," I muttered through stinging eyes.

"This will always be my life," she said, a hint of regret in her words as she looked to me. "I can't change it."

"I'm not asking you to!"

"Exactly! You're not! Which means you'll suck it up and stay with me and will live your life in constant concern for my well-being. It's not right."

I opened my mouth to respond because what she was saying was entirely stupid. But my emotions got the better of me and no words came out. Instead, my bottom lip quivered as I sucked up a breath.

"I need time to think," she suddenly said, anger disappearing from her voice and being replaced with an astute calmness.

My gaze snapped her way and through blurry vision, I watched her step back with her hands on her hips.

"So you can what – think about breaking up with me?" I said bitterly, and despite my anger, I didn't expect her to look at me with a softened expression, meaning my words were correct.

"Maybe it's better that way, Y/N," she said gently, eyes meeting mine.

I squeezed my hands together and tried to breathe through the pent-up anger that she'd caused, but the longer she stared at me, waiting for a response, the more I wanted to explode.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I muttered, scrunching my eyebrows together.

She pressed her lips together, looking away, and it only pissed me off more.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Wanda?!" I yelled. "You're quitting on our relationship because, what, you think I'm in danger? Well, news flash, honey, the worst already happened and I'm still here!"

She barely flinched as she avoided my eyes.

"You're a fucking coward!" I said, pointing at her. "If you needed an excuse to end things, you could have just said so!"

Breathing out, I wiped my tears away shakily. I expected her to argue back, to realise she'd made a mistake and regretted her words, but as I waited, I knew she was certain of her decision.

"Fine," I settled, brimming with rage. "Fuck off, Wanda."

Still, nothing.

Turning on my heel, I stormed to my front door and went through my keys with difficulty, hands shaking with anger. I heard Wanda's car door shut from behind me but didn't bother turning around. I clearly didn't need to as I heard the tyres screech against the road and knew she was gone.

Kicking my door with frustration, I found the key and opened up before heading inside and slamming the door behind me. How dare she break up with me because of something that I chose off my own back! She just gave up like we meant nothing to her, not even bothering to talk things out with me! And selfishly, she left me feeling pissed and resenting her more than I ever thought I would.

"What a bitch!" I shouted into the empty house, throwing my keys to the side harshly.

When they clinked against glass, I looked up and saw the vase of flowers Wanda had given me before dinner.

"The first and fucking last," I said dryly, before grabbing ahold of it and throwing it against the wall without thinking.

The glass shattered on impact, leaving a mess of water, flowers and small shards on the wooden floor. I looked at it, the brokenness resembling how my heart felt. As the adrenaline of my actions and previous angry words wore off, all that was left was hurt and pain and oh God, Wanda was gone. She'd left me. She'd given up.

I sank to the floor, pulling my legs up to my chest, and hugged them tightly. Stifling my cries, I dug myself into my knees and felt a pain in my heart. Why didn't she fight for us? Did she not love me enough? Was I not enough?

—

"You ignored the memes I sent you, I thought you died."

As Natasha pushed right past me and into my house, I blinked with disbelief.

"Sure, come right in," I mumbled sarcastically, closing the front door.

Following after Natasha, I found her making herself at home in the living room, plonking herself on the couch and pulling her feet up comfortably.

"You could have sent an emoji or something," she continued, giving me a knowing look. "They were some good memes."

"Well, forgive me if I wasn't in the mood," I said sourly, joining her on the couch.

Her playful smile faded as she picked up on my words. "How are you doing, sweetie?"

I ran a hand through my hair and leaned my elbow on the back of the couch, getting comfortable. It had been two weeks since Wanda broke up with me and in those two weeks, I hadn't been doing particularly well. I guess you could say I was still in a slump. A horrible, tiresome, angry, sadness-filled slump.

"I'm fine."

She pursed her lips, looking like she wanted to argue, but thankfully, she didn't. I was glad – the last thing I wanted was to prove that I was okay when, really, all I wanted to do was curl in a ball and suffocate under my duvet.

"I'm sorry," she said, resting her hand on mine. "If it's any consolation, I think Wanda made a huge mistake."

"Ah, so she told you," I said with a nod of realisation. I hadn't told Natasha the specifics of why we broke up, but clearly Wanda did. I guess it made sense – they were teammates. If anything, I was surprised Natasha still wanted to speak to me, instead expecting her to side with her friend.

"She did," Natasha answered. "And I think she's an idiot, but that's not my business. I just came here to make sure you were okay."

"Really? I thought you wanted to show me the memes," I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood with a small smile.

She chuckled, slapping my hand gently. "That, too... but seriously."

My smile faded as I looked down, my finger playing with my trousers distractedly. "I'm not okay, but I'll get there." I began to glare at my trousers, my anger for the witch returning. "I have to be. Because she doesn't want me anymore... fuck her."

"I'd rather not," Natasha mumbled.

Though my anger was present, making me tense like it had been the last few weeks, I couldn't help but smile at Natasha's words. Then laughter bubbled from my lips and for the first time since Wanda left, I felt momentarily happy.

"I'm glad we can still be friends," Natasha said, making me look to her with a smile. "I know that you and Wanda are over now... but I still like hanging out with you."

"Me, too," I said in agreement. "Thanks for coming to check in. You didn't have to."

"Yeah, I did." She nodded before offering me a small, encouraging smile. "You're gonna be okay, y'know."

I wanted to believe her, but despite how pissed I was at Wanda, I still loved her. And I couldn't imagine stopping, though I knew I'd have to if I was to make it through this.

—

Getting over Wanda was a difficult process. Everything I felt was a mixture of resentment, exhaustion and misery because I missed her. I missed being able to call her when I saw somebody do something stupid in public; I missed kissing her when I hadn't seen her in a long time; I missed hearing her adorable accent first thing when I woke up after she spent the night; I missed her.

Two months followed the breakup and the only time I'd see her was when she'd dodge Anna's apartment upon knowing I was going to take care of her. I guess I was glad in that sense, as it meant I wouldn't have to deal with her awkwardly. But it also made me feel like shit because it meant she didn't care about me at all. Clearly our breakup wasn't affecting her like it did with me.

And it was definitely affecting me.

I was scrolling through Instagram one day when I saw a particular post on my feed from Natasha's account. Yeah, one of the Avengers had a private Instagram account. She gave me her username when she saw me on it one day and I remember being so confused to how she had it.

"I'm an Avenger, not a hermit," was her response, and from that day onwards, we followed each other.

So, I saw a post on her Instagram and it was some goofy photo of her, Tony, Bruce and Wanda. They were posing with exaggerated smiles as Natasha grinned up front; the caption said something about working long days, but I wasn't paying much attention as, naturally, my gaze fell to Wanda.

Just like everyone else, she had a playful, exaggerated smile on her lips like nothing kept her down, but what stood out was the sling around her arm and the cast underneath. It must have happened in a mission or something and it wasn't my business, but I couldn't help but worry. Was she okay? Was she looking after herself? I wanted to text Natasha and ask, but I stopped myself.

She'd broken up with me for this very reason. I wasn't agreeing with it, but for a second, I did see why she'd made her point. It still wasn't fair though. She didn't get to make that choice for me.

We weren't together anymore, I reminded myself. She broke up with me. It had been two months and I needed to let go. If she didn't care about me, why should I waste my time and energy caring about her?

Not letting it get to me anymore, I simply liked the post before continuing my scrolling. Though I knew that deep down, her face was imprinted in my mind and I still worried for her well-being.

—

The fourth month following our breakup was when I properly saw Wanda again, excluding the times she would duck out of Anna's apartment upon my arrival to care for her. It was also the first time since the breakup that Wanda made the effort to speak to me.

I was sat eating dinner on my day off when I got a call from the hospital nearby, interrupting my meal. The nurse was explaining how Anna had fallen over and hurt her back and was now in a hospital room. She was calling me because she thought I'd like to know since I was her registered nurse and carer. I was glad to get the call, immediately pulling my shoes and coat on and rushing over there to make sure she was okay. She didn't have anyone else apart from Wanda and I �� it was no question I had to go.

Though, of course, I didn't really think about the fact that Wanda may be there until I saw her there. I also didn't consider the fact that I was wearing my pyjamas when I stepped in the lift and headed to Anna's floor. Too late now.

After asking the receptionist where Anna's room was, I found Wanda hanging around it outside the door. With only Anna on my mind, I approached her and tried to hide my panic. She spotted me instantly, stopping her pacing and looking to me with tired eyes and a frown on her face.

I didn't care that she looked worried, nor that she was holding up well since we last spoke in anger. I didn't care that she'd dyed her hair a reddish-brown colour, nor that she managed to pull off both that and the whole 'loungewear' look in a place surrounded by blinding white and blue. I didn't care that my heart ached when her green eyes found mine, nor that I missed seeing her so close and not in my dreams for once. I didn't care about any of it. Or, at least, I tried to tell myself that.

"What happened?" I cut straight to the point, stopping in front of her. "Is Anna okay?"

Wanda nodded instantly. "She's fine. She tripped over her dining room chair and hurt her back. The doctors just checked her out and said it's nothing too serious, but she won't be able to walk for a while."

I pressed my lips together, feeling the panic wear off at the sound of good news. Anna had always been more than just a patient to me and the last thing I wanted was to hear she'd hurt herself badly.

"Can I see her?" I asked Wanda, quirking a brow.

"Yeah, of course," Wanda said, before looking away awkwardly. "I was just waiting out here for you. The nurse said you were coming."

I chose to say nothing as I walked past her and into Anna's room, seeing the older woman laying on a hospital bed and staring at the ceiling. When she noticed my presence, she smiled at me and motioned for me to join her side.

"It's so good to see you, milaya (sweetie)," she said happily, as I stopped by her side, "but you didn't have to come! I'm not dying."

I heard Wanda enter the room behind me, but she took a seat on the chairs opposite the bed. Ignoring her, I smiled down at Anna and grabbed her hand.

"Don't say that," I told her gently. "Of course I'm here. You're my number one priority. I had to make sure you were okay!"

Anna waved her hand in typical Anna fashion. "I've suffered worse. I'm absolutely fine."

I knew it was best not to question her, so I didn't.

"I'm glad you're both here," she said, looking between Wanda and I, making me swallow awkwardly.

Since breaking up, I hadn't mentioned it to Anna, but she wasn't stupid and she'd clearly noticed that we weren't spending time together anymore. I didn't know if Wanda had told her, but if she had, Anna never mentioned anything. Like now, she simply looked between us both with a grateful smile, unaware of how awkward we felt.

Thankfully, the awkward silence was interrupted when a doctor walked in the room. After introducing herself, I asked if I could speak to her outside about Anna and she happily obliged. She told me about Anna's condition and how it would affect the way I cared for her, especially regarding her new medication, and I asked anything and everything to make sure she was truly okay. After being reassured that she was, I thanked the doctor and returned to Anna's room, only to find Wanda and Anna in a heated a argument.

I couldn't tell what had got them so fussy as they were bickering in Russian, sentences too fast for me to comprehend with my limited knowledge of the language. It got to a point where Anna began slapping Wanda on the arm, looking angrier than ever, so I stepped between them and pulled Wanda away.

"What the hell is going on here?" I interrupted, holding Anna's slapping hand down to the bed and raising a hand to keep Wanda at bay. I looked between them, seeing the frustration in both their expressions, and asked questioningly, "Well?"

Wanda said nothing, eyes avoiding mine as usual, so I looked down to Anna who was glancing between us before spouting off into another ramble in Russian, trying to grab Wanda so she could yell at her directly. To my annoyance, Wanda tried to push past me, yelling back, and I was unfortunately caught in the middle as I attempted to keep them from ripping each other's throats out.

Thankfully, their bickering came to a halt when an unknown voice called into the room: "What is going on in here?"

I looked to the door, following the mystery voice, and saw a young woman, maybe in her thirties, standing in the doorway and looking between the three of us with confusion. I had no idea who she was, though she seemed familiar. Judging from the confusion Wanda had, she didn't seem to know either.

"Sasha," Anna breathed out with surprise, and then I realised. That was Anna's granddaughter. "What are you doing here?"

[the-nameless-wacky-inventor]

EEEE TYYYYY YEAH I've been sitting with this idea for a while and finally just wrote it out in two days slksdjfldskj

Yeah- Blue still can have regular breakdowns that still hurt people, so it's a reputation that they can't help but continuously feed into, even if they hate it. I'd say they're doing much better now than they were at the beginning of 'Over My Head' so their breakdowns don't really scar them as much, but y'know, they always feel horribly guilty.

YES Graves and Beaks have been in a relationship for almost a decade ssldkfjsdlkfjsd However, their relationship has been a secret this whole time because of Emma Glamour. She still lives at the castle with them, and very much disapproves of Beaks having a relationship with anyone lower than him, not because of the power dynamic/consensual reasons that NFenton does, but because of the shitty 'tainting the family bloodline' thing. So far they haven't been able to change her mind, and in all honesty they're just kind of waiting around for her to die at this point until they can go public sdlkfjsjds they might risk being more open while visiting NFenton without her, but they don't want word getting back to her (Blue does find out pretty quickly about it tho and Graves swears them to secrecy ssldkjfdlsj). I wanted to kind of hint at it here, give like mention of lingering looks or Beaks asking only Graves for help and not the other guards, but that wouldn't make sense because if they've been hiding this for almost ten years then they'd be good at hiding it by now and it wouldn't come off as obvious.

YEAH MADS DUCKING HATES HIM there will be a lot of sharp pointy teeth spells going on while Beaks is there sdljslk I have one idea where they do end up physically fighting and instead of breaking it up NFenton lets it go on for a liiiiiiiittle longer than he could've just because he knows how badly Mads wants to beat him up. XD But idk what the fallout consequences of that would be tho. XD

They don't interact much, he was already a lord before NFenton became king and was doing a good enough job that NFenton just kinda left him alone to keep doing what he was doing. Beaks in canon is all about social media and getting views and interaction and stuff, so like it mentioned here that kinda translates over to him just being very involved with the commoners and connecting well with/listening to them. Beaks doesn't give NFenton much thought other than thinking he's a big improvement over NScrooge. XD

Lil' Royalty AU snippet. Blue meets an old friend.

As always, no matter how much they prepared beforehand, the visiting of other nobility always seemed to throw the castle into chaos at first. 

There were always unseen variables- usually having to do with the visiting noble bringing too many servants or guards or too much luggage. This always left the greetings in a rather hectic state, and Blue had no idea what to do. 

They stood on the edge of the room, overwhelmed by the sounds of happy greeting and confusion that echoed throughout the large hall. They had no idea if or when they should introduce themself, so far only Mads and Fenton had properly greeted the visiting lord. 

So they stood and scanned the crowd, trying to find a space to either join it or leave the room altogether. It was colder where this lord lived, and all of the visiting guards and servants were busy shedding their beautifully embroidered coats and trying to find a place to put them. Blue was sure they should probably go help, but they didn’t know where to start. 

As they looked for an easy way into the crowd, their gaze alighted on one of the guards closest to the visiting lord. 

Their eyes widened in recognition. 

In an instant, they were transported back over eight years previously, and it left them unable to move from shock, surprise, and memories.

It couldn’t be!

…Could it?

Slowly stealing forward, Blue snaked their way through the crowd, giving many ‘excuse mes’ and more than once having to squeeze their way awkwardly around little groups and servants carrying luggage. 

At last they finally made it a few paces behind the lord and his group of guards, their light blue eyes still trained on the one they thought they recognized. 

It sure looked like him. But there was no way…

They waited patiently for a gap in the conversation, watching as over the course of several minutes of talking the lord was drawn away by Mads and Fenton, leaving his line of guards behind. They eventually began conversing with one another, but the one Blue was focused on stood still and silent, watching the visiting lord go. 

Perfect. 

Blue came up behind him- unfortunately he was in the middle of the line, so they couldn’t stand beside him, and they didn’t want to interrupt the other guards. Bouncing nervously on their feet a little, they cleared their throat. 

What if they were wrong?

However, as the guard turned around, there could be no doubting who he was. Blue was left staring in surprise for a moment, long enough that by the time they realized what was happening the guard was already on the ground in a deep bow. “Blue Phantom.”

The other guards had taken notice of that, and the next thing Blue knew there was a whole line of six guards bowing to them. 

“Oh!” They blinked, taking a step back and instinctively giving a low dip of a bow in return. “Thank you. That’s alright, you can get up, you didn’t have to bow.” 

They watched as the guards climbed back to their feet, and they refused to meet any of the gazes they could feel on them. This was more attention they’d been wanting, and for a moment they considered turning tail and leaving the hall altogether. 

They cleared their throat again, trying to reassert themself. They could handle this. “I-I just wanted to talk to you, actually.” They nodded toward the middle guard. 

He tilted his head in curiosity, and took a step forward. “I’d be honored to talk with you.”

Blue knew he wasn’t, they knew the response was automatic and customary. They knew the rumors about them and their magic, they knew how much anyone outside the castle- and even many inside- didn’t like them. The guard did seem extremely hesitant and on edge as he and Blue moved away from the others, they were sure he didn’t recognize them. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked. He stood very straight, his arms behind his back. Blue didn’t know if that further attested to his unease, or if he just greeted everyone this formally. 

Blue made themself look up from their feet to at least glance at his face for a moment. They attempted an awkward smile, trying to figure out how to start this. “You… wouldn’t have happened to be in the former king’s prison about eight years ago now, would you?” 

The guard drew up short, eyeing them. They could feel the unease and distrust pouring off of him in fumes. “How do you know about-” he broke off suddenly, and Blue glanced up. 

There was the recognition in his face. Blue smiled again, and this time it was a little less forced. 

“Blue?” 

Their smile gradually became more genuine. “Falcon Graves?” 

And it was him. The same deep brown feathers, the same hooked sharp beak, the same dark hooded eyes. Only now he had no visible wounds, and was wearing much finer clothing than the torn and bloody tattered commoners clothes he’d been in before. The blazing gold of his furred cloak- the chosen color of his lord- stood out dazzlingly against his dark feathers. 

He stared at them, beak open in shock. “I… I didn’t know you were the- how?” 

Blue kicked their feet on the red carpet of the hall. “Oh, King Crackshell just appreciated my magic, despite my outbursts. He gave a lot of people new chances when he came to power, and I just happened to be one of them.” 

Graves looked at them for longer, and that’s when Blue realized just how odd this was. The two of them knew nearly nothing about each other, their relationship had been built on a desperate need for contact, and in reality they’d only had a few real conversations. They weren’t really friends, and no matter how excited Blue was to see Graves again, their excitement likely wouldn’t be returned. They’d known each other for a short amount of time nearly a decade ago, and it wasn’t a close enough relationship that Blue should feel comfortable going up to him out of nowhere. 

Besides, Blue was a noble, Graves was a guard. He would treat them kindly, but only because they were above him. 

Blue was just about to panic and backtrack when the falcon finally spoke. “I’m… very glad you made it out. I was… I was worried you wouldn’t.” 

Despite them now second guessing everything, Blue could sense the sincereness of his tone. That gave them just enough courage to keep the conversation going. “You too. I thought you being a spy from another kingdom might make King Crackshell want to try harder to hunt you down.” They hesitated. “Though… you’re not from another kingdom, are you? Your lord works for Duckburg’s king…” They trailed off, uncertain.

“That was my cover story,” Graves explained. “I was sent here to see how bad things were then, and I didn’t want to get my lord in trouble. Saying I was from another kingdom shifted the blame greatly.” 

They were suddenly interrupted by a sudden shout from the visiting lord. “Guards!” 

Graves looked up, and gave Blue a quick apologetic bow before hurrying away. Blue watched him go, before tentatively following. 

The lord was issuing orders to his guards, telling them directions to the room he was staying in and directions to where they and the other servants would be sleeping. Clearly the six would be in charge of organizing it all, and they listened closely as the lord explained it. Blue barely paid attention, still reeling with surprise that they’d met Graves again. 

They were pulled from their thoughts by King Crackshell calling to them. 

“You haven’t met Blue yet, have you? Blue!” 

The royal wizard hurried forward to stand next to him, facing the visiting lord with what they hoped was a graceful, greeting smile. “Blue, this is Lord Marcus Beaks.” The king held out a hand. “Lord Beaks, this is the noble Blue Phantom.” 

Blue knew who Beaks was, his visit was all anybody had been talking about that week. They mirrored the lord’s polite bow. “Nice to have you.” 

Beaks grinned, looking Blue up and down for a moment. “You’re different than I thought you’d be,” he said. “I thought you’d be more… scary looking. What with all the crazy stories about you.” 

They should’ve expected this. Blue took a step back, one arm around themself. Their already soft voice became almost imperceptible in the echoing ruckus in the hall. “I get that a lot.” 

“Pfftt, no wonder. You really must’ve worked hard to get a reputation like that when you look like…” he waved at them. “This.” 

Blue winced, but managed to partially pass it off as a shrug. “I… didn’t try to.” 

Beaks laughed. “Oh c’mon, you don’t have to try so hard! You can just admit you don’t want to be perceived by everyone as this small and shy!” 

“But I didn’t try-” 

He didn’t hear them. “Everybody does it, there’s no shame in denying it! In fact, I recently started a rumor around my castle that I’m a few inches taller than I actually am, that way I can come off as more intimidating.” He winked. “So far it’s worked, I think.” 

Thankfully Blue was saved from more of this by Mads, who cut in quickly. “They didn’t try to make people afraid of them, I can assure you.” His voice was strained, Blue could tell he was doing everything he could not to growl the words out. “Now do you want to go get settled in your rooms?” 

Beaks said his short farewells before going off after his guards, and Mads let out a heavy breath. “I swear to Selene-” 

“It’s barely been ten minutes,” Fenton nudged him. “It’ll get better.” 

“Ten minutes?” Mads cried, hardly listening to Fenton’s shushing. “Ten minutes? And I have to put up with this for a week?!”

“What?” His last outcry brought Blue from their thoughts and back into the conversation. 

“Mads doesn’t like him,” Fenton's explanation already sounded tired. 

“That,” Mads growled, “is an understatement. He’s so haughty and vain and acts like he just doesn’t care and like he’s hardly listening to anything anyone’s saying and he’s so entitled and his voice is annoying and-”

“Don’t you do that sometimes?” Fenton asked teasingly. 

Mads dropped his head into his hands. “I want a divorce.” He grumbled, without missing a beat. Blue tried to stifle their giggle. 

“We aren’t married.” 

“Good! That’ll make the legal process easier.” He dragged his hands down his face, then perked up a little. “Can we fire him? Take away his title somehow? I’m sure I could frame him for something. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.” 

“We could just make up an excuse to send him back home,” Blue offered. “That might be easier.” They didn’t much like Beaks either. Sure, every person they met treated them the way he had at first- seeing them only for their magic- but there was something about his smugness that Blue knew Beaks’ view on them wouldn’t change as he got to know them, the way other people’s would. 

“And less satisfying.” Mads snarled. Blue suddenly noticed that his teeth seemed sharper than usual. “No, we’ve got to bump him off somehow.” 

“We’re not doing anything dramatic.” Fenton quickly shut the idea down. “Surprisingly or not, Beaks does get along well with the commoners and he’s pretty popular and involved in his part of the kingdom. Getting rid of him wouldn’t be a fantastic move.” 

“I’m just saying, if anybody finds him dead one morning while he’s here, none of you will be able to prove it was me.” With that Mads marched off, leaving Fenton and Blue staring after him. 

“I really can’t tell if that was serious or not.” Fenton said after a moment. “Either way, those two probably shouldn’t be left alone in a room together. And this is going to be a long week.” 

Blue couldn’t help but agree.

The king glanced at them. “What do you think of all this?” 

“I… can’t see Beaks and I getting along,” they admitted. “But I know one of his guards, and I like him.”

“Really?” Fenton raised an eyebrow. “Which one?” 

“The falcon,” Blue met his gaze for a moment, unsure how much Graves would want divulged about his time in prison. “His name is Graves, he um… helped me out one time. Before I lived here.”

“Hm,” Fenton looked back at the crowd, over their heads to the door Mads had disappeared through. It led to the kitchens, he was likely going to rant some more to Beakley before eating half of whatever pastries she’d prepared for the guests. “I forget you were a commoner sometimes, that you know some people outside the castle well.” 

“I wouldn’t say I know him well,” Blue clarified. 

“Well enough to like him?” 

“He’s one of the few people who was still nice to me even after he knew about how bad my powers can get.” Blue tried to make their increasingly quiet voice still audible over the other echoing sounds in the room. Their eyes were trained on their feet, which rubbed little grooves into the carpet. “Everyone else back then was more open about expressing that they thought I was a freak.” 

“Hm,” the duck said again, clearly thinking. “Let me know if any of the people Beaks brought with him give you any crap like he did, alright? I’ll see what I can do about it. But don’t tell Mads, then we might find all of them dead one morning, and not just Beaks.” 

Blue laughed. “I’ll try.” 

The king gave a farewell nod, then headed off. Judging by his direction, he was likely going looking for Mads. Blue watched him go for a moment, before their gaze alighted back on Graves, who was helping to carry Lord Beaks’ luggage to his rooms.

This week would be interesting. 

[somelazyassartist]

I've gotten a lot more work done on homebrew Eladrin stuff!!! I got the Coure, Bralani, Noviere, Shiere, Firre, Shiradi, and Tulani character stats done, as well as some "quirk tables" for Eladrin-Descended Aasimar (they don't have any mechanical component but!! I like it when there are tables- like in the Fairy race, Shadow Sorcerer, or Fey Wanderer Ranger- that let you add something cool to your character just for fun! Plus since Celestial Eladrin bloodlines can lead to Aasimars sometimes I just think it'd be neat if a bit more of their Celestial heritage stood out a bit)!! I still need to do the Celadrin, Half-Elf Variants, and possibly remake the Fey Eladrin if I decide that's worth it lmao!!

They're sorta different from a lot of player races (because let's be honest, they're Celestials, they're INCREDIBLY powerful), and it's hard to dumb down their abilities too much without taking away a lot of what I love about Eladrin, so I sorta tried to do a different way of balancing things? So basically: yes, these player races are INCREDIBLY powerful. However: the more powerful you are, the more drawbacks you have. Certain abilities can't be used wearing armor so that puts your AC lower, sometimes you'll have to risk doing damage to yourself as well when you attack someone else, sometimes you've got disadvantage on certain ability checks for one reason or another, all stuff like that, y'know?? So I'm hoping that helps balance them in a way that's like, yeah you're awesome but you've also got drawbacks y'know?? I'm hoping that makes sense haha, but I've been having a lot of fun playing around with em!!

[moonlightchn]

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝕽𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖘 🌗

He's fucked. Oh boy, does Chris know he's fucked. Chan's tense, worked up scent is filling the car; the way he grips onto the wheel, knuckles white for the strength applied is concerning, to say the least; even the speed he's driving at is unlike him. Chris knows that as soon as he dares open his mouth, the older boy will lash out at him. And, does he deserve it? Definitely. But does he want to hear it right now? Not really. Not like he has a choice, anyway.

See, Chan arrived about an hour later at the location, a really clean and well cared for neighborhood on the next town over. You know, trimmed grass, tall trees, heated sidewalks and porch lights. That kind. The kind that gave away just so much for him to know. And Chan knew where he was. And he hated being there. But you don't turn on your pack, that's the first rule he learned back in the day. You don't turn on your pack, so he doesn't turn on Chris. Ever. Not even when he deserves it. So there they were, two wolves on hunter territory. Wonderful, right? And Chris... He was just waiting on the sidewalk, ass on the floor and cigarette in hand, just casually sitting as if he wasn't surrounded by potential threats. As if he wasn't risking his life. Their lives.

"What happened." The blonde asks, eyes on the road as he focuses on staying on the right lane. The question is sudden, taking the black wolf by surprise. Chris certainly didn't expect Chan to talk first, or sound so calm. He clears his throat slightly, hand playing with his rings as he looks out the window, humming.

"I couldn't. I..." Sighing, Chris head lowers, what happened, uh? "They have families... They... They have families now. Kids, partners... I couldn't. Couldn't take from them what they took from me. Couldn't bring myself to" Couldn't? Or didn't want to? What was stopping him anyway, right? He was already there, came all the way. "I wouldn't have been able to. It didn'tfeel right. It was... Was not what I wanted... Y'know?" What would little Hannah and Lucas think of him if he had done it?

"Did they see you?" Its simple questions. Simple questions that he can't reply. Did they see him? Hell if he knows. Was he careful? As much as if wearing five maracas on his neck. Will they come after him? That was always a possibility anyway, wasn't it? The eldest sighs at the silence, head shaking and eyes not even looking for Chris once. "You worried a lot of people. Did not just put yourself on the line but everyone else too. Do you understand that? Could've gotten me killed for making me come here- Do not interrupt me." The black wolf looks away again, mouth closing and eyes focusing on the road. The blonde is right, anyway. What was he going to say? No?

"You keep doing the same bullshit, man. Over and over and over again. Do you not get it? Do you really not understand? Don't see how much we care for you? How much you mean? You think I would've come all the way here for you otherwise? You keep giving people hopes, you keep promising things, promising change, painting yourself a victim everyone has to love and understand and put up with and accept the way it is! That's not how it works, Christopher! You keep saying you're trying but you're not even doing the bare minimum!" The car stops abruptly, both boys bouncing slightly on their seats and Chan lays back a little, hands rubbing his face. He's frustrated, tired, mad. Worried. He is, overall, worried. And Chris can feel it. He can smell it. He can see it.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I know I haven't been the best... It's... It's just not easy. I want to be better but... What's the point? What do I have left? I keep thinking... I keep thinking maybe I should just go away. Disappear, y'know? Grab my stuff and let people move on, live their lives. I'm dead weight anyway, I just c-"

"Shut up!" Its not a scream, really. Not like the ones before, at least. This one is filled with pain, and hurt, and anger. The golden wolf shifts on his seat, hand reaching to grab onto the others face, forcing him to look him in the eyes. "You don't get to do this! You dont get to victimize yourself with me and pity yourself. How many times do I need to go over this with you? I did not, and I repeat, I did NOT take you in for you to give up. You are NOT giving up. Do you hear me? You don't get to turn your back on me, on Channie, on Changbin and Irene and Jongho and Felix and Chungha and everyone who ever dared to give at least a cent for you. You don't have the right to walk away." Chan lets go, the other wolf's head slightly turning at the force as his eyes wander down, anywhere else but the boy in front of him. "So pull yourself together and find a reason. A motive. Whatever the fuck you need. This bullshit of yours ends here."

Not a single word is spoken after that, the remaining of the ride being spent in silence, the quietness of the night and the awkward tensions sitting in the backseat the only company for the boys. At home, that's what Chan calls it, home, awaits Channie with three cups of tea. At a night club on the other side of the city awaits a concerned black haired woman. Close to the suburbs awaits a short boy a new mixtape. At a shelter downtown awaits a cheetah hybrid, on the carnival at the other end a freckled boy...

Pull himself together. That's what he needs to do. For them and himself. No more running, right? No more hiding. He doesn't need revenge, or violence. He doesn't need to hold onto his past. Pull himself together and let go.

It's not going to be easy, but what would he lose trying to get there?

Taggies uwu (ask for +/- -> general taglist)

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[achubbydumpling]

Alright, I just finished Destroyer (2018) and a bottle of wine and I have some thoughts about this movie and lots of thots about Chris. Why am I writing this? Why not! I love reading other people's opinions, so here are mine.

Let's get into it!

(if you just want ~800 words of chubby kink brain rot skip to the +++ under the cut)

Thoughts and semi-serious movie review

(I don't know nothing about movies, so this is very subjective, but I'd love to hear your opinions, if you disagree with anything or just have something to add)

First, I went into this film completely blind. I had no idea what this film was about, I only knew that Seb was in it.

It starts off promising. Alcoholic detective who knows more than she lets on, an unidentified body and an old antagonist from our detectives past reappears. Plot is being set up, we get to know Erin, the story advances at a good pace and then 15 minutes in everything grinds to a halt.

The movie is very good at building tension, but has trouble reaching satisfying conclusions. Almost every scene just fizzles out into an anticlimactic or abrupt end. The characters seem static, with no real development apart from a few pieces sprinkles throughout, which makes emotional scenes feel unearned.

The movie drags on through it's 2h runtime. By the end I was honestly wishing for Erin to just die already, which probably wasn’t the intention with this character-driven film. We’re told that she is consumed by anger, but to me she just seemed bored most of the time. Like she was trudging from plot point to plot point.

Most of the characters in this movie felt like less than side characters, even Chris, who’s death is the inciting incident for Erin wanting to get revenge on Silas. Arturo was the only other character that stood out to me, but he only really got to shine in the Russian Roulette scene.

The flashback scene at the end was probably the best part of the movie. Not just because we finally got to see Chris for a bit longer, but because Erin finally has someone to play off of and even though she still seems quite stiff in her acting, this is in my opinion her best performance in the movie. 2/5 stars

"omg Sebastian Stan is so hot in this movie"-review

And now let's talk about Seb's look in this movie, because damn does he look good. Stuff I liked in no particular order:

the beard in the flash backs

the shaved head in the less far back flash backs

smoking. doing drugs! cocaine!!

rings

fake dating?? yes please (giving me ideas)

Seb's fucking silent movie acting, hmm jaw clenching and intense staring (his line delivery wasn't the best in this, but it might've been the phrasing)

"Nice ass." "It's all yours."

the grey sweater

rings

Chris' body language being all loose and open, going with where Erin pulls him, draped all over her back, arm around her waist

hnng Erin pulling down the big sweater and showing of his chest-shoulder-collarbone

+++ (weight gain, belly kink and more feedist nonsense from here on out) +++

that shirt is pretty big on him though, isn't it?

and his jeans are way too loose as well, "Nice ass"?, yeah, it'll be real nice with about fifty more pounds on him, when those jeans look painted on

he could maybe hide his double chin under the beard, but his love handles would be peeking out under the hem of that grey sweater, his belly creasing his waist band where it hangs over it, his lower belly hanging out as soon as he moves his arms and he constantly has to pull his shirt down, otherwise it works its way up until the entire spare tire around his hips is on display

idk if everyone is just short, but Seb looks so tall in this movie, imagine he's so tall that he starts out at 230lbs looking jacked, all brawn, functional strength, low insertion muscles, all stretched out, y'know?

and then he packs on weight, still working, still moving, but putting half the time he used to spend exercises, into eating, he eats what you put in front of him and then some

it's not like it's a burden, eating until he's full and then pushing himself a bit further, but your encouragement and the obvious lust on your face whenever you watch him eat, is an added bonus

when Erin suggests he steal the money with her, he refuses, he's got you and you'd never ask him to risk his life on the off-chance that you might be able to pull this off, so he gets out, back to being an FBI agent, back to you, and finally back to eating what he wants

ohhh he'd thought when you first explained to him how you liked bigger guys that he'd be doing this just for you, settling down, putting on a few pounds, it was probably inevitable anyway, but once you started, once he actually gained weight, he liked it, he really liked it

Chris caught himself sneaking his hand under his sweater to play with the tiny bit of fat that was starting to hang over his waistband

he'd always been confident, but feeling heavier made him feel more powerful, instead of rushing everywhere he took his time, long, unbroken strides, nothing could shake him

he was an excellent fighter, not easily swayed, but they take him out of the field when he gains more weight, he gets out, gets a job as private security instead and keeps gaining

300lbs and he's finally getting a real belly, but you could still see some muscles moving under his ribs when you trailed your fingers over them, he's tall, so all the weight has lots of places to settle

350lbs and his legs are straining aganist his jeans, the fabric between his legs thinning from the constant friction, looking at him you'd guess he was 250lbs, maybe 280lbs

but you didn't care too much about him looking smaller than he was, because when he got on top of you and let you feel all the weight you'd put on him, how heavy he was and you were just struggling to catch your breath with 350lbs of absolute beef cake on top of you, you couldn't really form a single coherent thought

it didn't take long for him to reach 400lbs, and you were all over it, you kept him pinned to the couch by the weight of his stuffed belly every night, riding one of his thick thighs until he'd finally digested just enough, that he could think about anything besides the dull ache in his stomach, you could see his eyes lose some of that hazy fog, his body going from boneless exhaustion to pressing his thigh up into you, matching your rhythm

as much as you loved Chris weighing you down, you had learned the positive sides of being on top of him over the last 50lbs he's gained, he was an impressive man, quietly commanding every room he was in, but you could make him fall apart, come undone beneath you and make him give up all this control

he didn't just do it for you, when you saw his eyes flutter shut and his jaw work to deal with all those overwhelming sensations, you could see him get lost in it, going elsewhere and yet giving himself up even more completely to you

he'd beg for you to touch him, to fuck him, to "please make me come, baby", even though he could easily take all that he wanted from you, he only ever asked for it and how happily you gave it all to him

lotsa text, but he's just too hot in this movie, like you can just imagine undressing him and finding a nice little belly under all those baggy clothes

[jamestrmtx]

Wish Upon a Night Sky - [Beastars | Various x Reader]

[Female, Sheep Reader | Slow Burn]

Act Eleven, Scene One | All Together

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It's been a week since the incident with Juno happened, and though her wounds have finally healed, you can tell there's some amount of tension and worry still simmering in her thoughts. During the past seven days, she hadn't once spoken about what happened. Rather, she kept it all to herself and refused to talk about it with you, using the excuse that she'd rather not dampen up the mood every single time you tried. Even during the silence that came when you helped her deal with her injuries, she hadn't once told you what was bothering her. 

Now that a full week's gone by, you begin to worry over the strength and depth of your friendship and if you simply weren't on a level high enough with her to talk about stuff like that yet. 

"She hasn't said anything as far as I remember," Legoshi says, following you and Haru out of the cafeteria.

"Same here," Haru adds, confirming the opposite in regards to your concerns. "...And I might not be that close with her, but with the two of us being your friend, we kind of started to talk with each other more." Her nose twitches and her brows bunch up as she frowns. "I'm surprised she hasn't talked about it with you, though!"

"Maybe she's mad about (Y/N) changing dorms?"

The wolf's addition makes the bunny's jaw drop. She doesn't waste time to react and stares up at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You... You what?" she exclaims; her frown upgrades to a glare and she faces you straight in the eye, almost cornering you in place with the intensity of her gaze. "No wonder she won't talk to you! Why did you do that?"

"Isn't it the most reasonable thing to do, though?" you ask, frowning. "Those threats we received aren't worth defying if they're gonna bring us that much danger and trouble. Juno spent days with those rope burns, and I can still see a few marks to this day!"

"So you're just going to comply with the enemy?"

"I need to if it means other people besides me are in danger."

Legoshi's ears droop as he witnesses your conversation with Haru almost scale into an argument. He takes a step back and stays quiet as he watches you both, having a wordless confrontation through a stern staredown. "You really need to talk with her about it, because I'm sure Juno wouldn't want that, just as much as we wouldn't." She sets her hands on her hips and her frown returns; a softer look overcomes her expression and her ears mimic the wolf's. "We're all friends here, (Y/N). And I'm pretty sure Juno cares about you more than you think." She lets that stance go and loosens her posture up some more. A faint smile manifests itself and a gentler tone rises when she continues, saying, "'Cause I feel that way, too, at least. Even if that route involves some risks, I'd much rather take one where I can be true to myself."

Haru takes a step back and lowers her intensity. Then, she sighs and lets her ears droop some more. "Almost everything we do everyday has its own set of risks, and being born as what we are now is by itself a big one. So if you think about it that way, then wouldn't it be better to choose a path you'd be happier with, in the end... Instead of going along with what's in front of you, and having almost no control over your future goals?"

She lets out another breath when she's done, though she barely gives you time to put in a word of your own when she adds, "But did you really change dorms?" Her question's a mixture of pained and reticent, most of it already reflecting itself on her face and the change in her tone. "Be honest with me, please."

You face her and remain silent for a while. While you wait for an answer, your mind goes haywire and you try to come up with some sort of white lie, yet they all fall short before you can even begin to consider them as viable options for confronting someone like Haru. "I… I didn't," you reply, meeting her gaze. "But I'm not staying in the same dorm as hers anymore. The new sheep I met at the drama club offered me to stay with her until I figure out what to do."

"And how's that any less of a risk than choosing to stay at the hybrid dorms?" she retorts, though quite unlike her previous confrontation, there's a traceable note of humour present in her voice. "You could be putting her in danger, too, y'know?" She nudges your hip and winks; then, she smiles, and you soon find yourself doing the same. "...But in all seriousness, I'm relieved you didn't move out officially, because I'm sure I'd be just as mad as Juno, if that was the case!" Her ears go back to their usual state and a calmer, almost relaxed posture remains on her body. "You should discuss this with her soon and let her decide if she wants to keep being your roommate. Don't just decide for her, (Y/N)."

"...But when should I do that? She- She won't talk with me much anymore."

Haru chuckles and faces up at you again. "Preferably tonight? You could come over straight to her dorm and try to be honest with her about it."

You chew on your lip as you consider her suggestion. It was reasonable, no doubt, but you were ninety nine percent sure doing that wouldn't be as easy as it was saying it. Despite you being close friends with Juno now, that single week of tension between you had lessened the confidence you'd gained through the semester, and now, you weren't exactly certain over what path to take any longer. "...I'll try," you mutter, swallowing tension away. One question remains in your mind, though it takes a while for you to word it out properly. "But what you're saying here is," you begin, bracing yourself, "...you think this isn't something only I can decide, then?"

Haru nods. "If it involves our safety, then no," she replies. "We should also have a say in what we want to do with our friendship with you, and not just let a… random stranger decide that for us." 

You notice how she hesitates at the word stranger, and it doesn't take too long to remember how she'd reacted to the glimpse of said stranger's appearance the night you confronted that person over Juno's disappearance. Given the current time and topic of discussion, though, you refrain from bringing that up for the moment and settle with a smile. "I… I didn't really consider it that w-"

"...Lunch is over," Legoshi's voice intervenes, sounding as quiet as a mouse. It's evident based on how meek his voice comes out that he's been trying to get your attention for some time now, and that observation alone is enough for you to smile, only to then quickly realize what his words mean.

"What?!" Haru's voice unites with yours as you both exclaim your shock. You stare at each other and later at the wolf, directing stunned gazes at him as you ask, "Since when?"

"Since five minutes ago," he replies, finally easing in with a smile and a laugh. "I... tried calling you both, but you just got more into it the more I tried to get your attention." Legoshi tries to fight back that expression, though he fails in an instant and makes it grow instead. "We should hurry if we don't want to be called out."

Despite his grin, his words send off a warning in your head and you excuse yourself from them two to run off to class.

"Let's continue this later," you call out, facing Haru and pointing at Legoshi after. "You included. You've been way too quiet about this, and it feels like you know something we don't."

"I'm always like that," the wolf remarks, meeting your challenge with a smile.

You smile back and fight back your reply when you remember you're only delaying yourself further, the same going for them two. "That's not gonna help you get away with it!"

[bluerosewritings]

Duel Rules | Riddle x Stubborn!Reader

[Originally uploaded to ‘The Hearts Mirror’ on Wattpad]

Your stubbornness had started off as an admirable quality to Riddle. While other students were grumbling about the Queen of Hearts' rules, you were determined to follow them, almost to a fault. Sure, you weren't as big of a rule abider as Riddle but you'd set your mind on upholding what you believed to be the values of Heartslabyul and Riddle respected you for that.

The only issue was when you came across a rule you didn't agree with. Not matter what, if you didn't want to follow it, you would never follow it, and it drove Riddle insane. Even post-overblot, your dorm head was still shocked at how adamantly against you were at following rules 39, 176 and 590. Especially rule 590.

That was how you had once again been called to the dorm lounge long after it had been deserted by the other students, sitting across from Riddle who was massaging the bridge of his nose. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips as he briefly looked up at you, wondering how in the of Twisted Wonderland the two of you managed to keep finding yourselves together like this.

"(y/n)-"

You cut him off. "It wasn't my fault."

Riddle couldn't stop his eyebrow from twitching. "It wasn't your fault?"

You nodded.

"So the fact that your roommate is currently in the infirmary after a magic duel from a shot multiple people, including myself, saw you cast... is not your fault?" Riddle said, finally looking you in the eye. His expression was a hardened glare, though you could tell there was something else behind it as well.

"Look, he started it," you explained, "he said some pretty stupid stuff and said if I won a duel against him, he would keep his mouth shut - if I lost, he got to tell everyone and I took his place in Azul's contract. Not my fault."

Riddle shook his head. "Even though you broke the rules of the duel?"

The accusation made you shift in your seat. Riddle knew logically you couldn't deny it - it was a miracle that the headmaster had agreed to let him deal with the issue, even if he was your dorm head. While duels typically weren't allowed on school grounds, rule 590 of the Queen of Hearts was something of a loophole, where as long as only non-elemental magic was used a duel was allowed. During your duel, however, you had cast wind magic, causing your opponent to be pushed backwards. You'd intended just to scare him but he instead tripped and fell down on his arm at a not so nice angle, luckily managing not to break it but unfortunately it was still pretty battered.

"...He shouldn't have been acting like an idiot." you eventually replied, receiving another unhappy look from Riddle. "Look, he was going to use elemental magic on me too, okay? I had no choice!"

"And you know that, how?"

"Because he was bragging about it to his friends in broad daylight like an idiot."

"If you knew that, then you should've come to me. In fact, why didn't you?" Riddle crossed his arms, confusion now showing on his face. "I usually mediate all your duels. So why—"

"B-Because I don't want to keep dragging you into my messes!" You say.

A pout forms on Riddle's face. While you'd usually consider it cute, you knew it meant he didn't believe your lie. You internally cursed yourself for not thinking of a better excuse.

"(y/n)," Riddle's voice grew sterner, "why didn't you talk to me?"

You mumbled under your breath. Riddle gave out another frustrated sigh.

"(y/n)."

"...because then he'd have known."

Riddle furrowed his brows. "Known? Known what?"

"That we're dating."

Riddle blinked, unsure of how to reply. "Why would you talking to me make him know... that?"

"That was the secret." You told him. "He said he knew we were... y'know. But I could tell he wasn't 100% sure, so I played it off and tried to keep away."

Well, that explained your lack of presence being made up by late-night texts, then.

"I mean, I still don't see why we have to hide us," you continued, "since you shouldn't care about what your mother thinks after what she did to you! But... you don't want that, so... I had to break the rule. I... I'm sorry."

Riddle froze. "Huh? Could you... repeat that?"

"Repeat what?" You feigned innocence, knowing exactly what he meant.

Riddle wasn't going to give up so easily, however. "The last thing you said."

"I had to break the rule."

"After that."

"...I'm... sorry." A blush spread across your cheeks. You didn't exactly mean your words - you were sorry, yes, but really for worrying Riddle rather than for standing your ground. You were pretty sure Riddle knew it too.

It didn't matter. Your apology and your expression caused Riddle to soften. He stood up from the lounge's "throne" couch and made his way over to you. Using your bodies to shield your hands from any unlikely late-night visitors, Riddle intertwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a light squeeze. As the two of you rarely made any contact, the action caused a light red to spread across both your cheeks.

"Thank you, (y/n)." Riddle said. "However, this does not mean I approve of you going around and disrespecting not only the school's rules but also the Queen of Hearts' rules. Understand?"

You huff. "Even though they're so pointless?"

Riddle raised an eyebrow. "Does that make rule 2 pointless as well?"

"Of course not! Scones without fruit tea is unforgivable." You argued, shocked Riddle would even suggest the idea.

Riddle sighed, though you saw the corners of his mouth twitch. "Then you need to follow the other rules, too. You can't just do what you think is right concerning rules - I think what happened to me should be proof enough of that."

The thought of Riddle's overblot sent a cold feeling down your spine. "I would never... get that far. I promise."

Riddle smiled. "I know; I wouldn't let you. Not that you'd let yourself get 'there' either."

"Thank you." You whispered. You dropped your voice even lower. "...I love you."

"I love you, too." Riddle replied, words so quiet you had to read his lips.

His lips... before you could stop yourself, you placed your lips on his, clutching his hands. Secrecy temporarily forgotten, Riddle loosened his grip on one of your hands to move his to the back of your head, adjusting the angle of your head so he could kiss you deeper. The kiss likely lasted no more than thirty seconds, but like every time you touched, it felt like a thousand years.

For the millionth time, you cursed Riddle's mother and the fear she'd pushed into her son that caused the two of you to keep your relationship on the down-low. You couldn't help yourself - you wanted more. You dove you head closer to his again, only your aim was off, causing the two of you to bump noses.

Riddle let out a cry of pain as you cursed your bad luck, using your free hand to massage your nose. Once the pain subsided, you and Riddle caught each other's eyes. Laughter started coming out of Riddle as he had to look away, your pout too cute for him to handle at the moment.

"I'm getting better!" You insisted. "It's just dark in here, that's all."

"Of course." Riddle complied.

He brought his free hand away from the back of your head and began to caress your cheek. You leaned into his palm, though your pout still remained. Riddle giggled and placed a quick, chaste kiss against your lips. Like always, he adored the look of surprise bliss that decorated your face.

You missed the heat when he eventually pulled his hand away. Your hand felt empty without his to hold.

You were happy you could still look into his eyes. "(y/n), even if someone is threatening to reveal our relationship, if anything like that happens again, make sure to come to me. Understand?"

You frowned. On one hand, you were happy he was willing to risk your relationship to keep you out of trouble; on the other hand, you didn't like the implication that you couldn't handle your own problems. It may have ended badly this time, but that didn't mean it would always end somewhat tragically.

But one look into Riddle's worried eyes and you knew you couldn't say no. "...Okay. I promise."

The tension seemed to literally fly off Riddle's shoulders. "Thank you, (y/n)."

He placed a kiss on your cheek and smiled. "I'm expecting a five hundred sentence essay on your self-reflection about the school rules and rule 590 in my room by tomorrow night, as well as a written apology to who you injured."

"Wha- Riddle!?" You turned, too stunned to grab his arm as he walked off. "That's unfair! Riddle!"

The red-head chuckled, looking back at you with a smirk. "Would you rather it was off with your head?"

No, you didn't. It didn't stop you from grumbling about it however.

Riddle chuckled. "Be glad I'm making you drop it off in my room instead of in front of everyone. Good night, (y/n)."

Riddle left, leaving you alone in the lounge. You let out a frustrated sigh, even though you were getting off leniently. And why was he making you drop off the essay to his room specifically, instead of just letting you just hand it to him whenever? And at night! He-

Oh. Alone. A blush invaded your cheeks. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

[evolsinner]

⊱┊30

i don't need 'looking after'! i am perfectly capable of taking care of my own damn self. from the moment kayrem has walked back into our lives, he's been showing off. he's trying to prove his 'worth' to the family, and it's annoying the heck out of me!

first, he takes me away from isaac against my will, then he does this elaborate show of how much he still has an effect on me. i mean, the only reason i called him is that there was no one else to call!! and now he's brought a fucking dog for maxi? sucking up to father? it's not fair! he just doesn't get to be gone for this long and then have the easiest welcome back party.

i hate him!

after grumpily hopping out of the shower, i crash straight into bed. mum's doing overtime which means i'll get to see her first thing in the morning. this is good because i'm still figuring out what to say to her.

my parents always change roles, either one of them is too mad and the other is understanding or vice versa. so i guess she’s gonna be playing the ‘mad’ role tomorrow.

i slide out of bed and creep down the hallway, pausing at the source of the problem…in me.

"what are you doing?" i push the door further in.

without looking up from his crouching position, kayrem’s like, “the dvd player is jacked up. i'm tryna get it to work," and takes a gulp from his redbull.

"can't you wait till tomorrow to do it?"

"tomorrow can wait."

ugh, i never seem to make sense of his comebacks like these. just answer properly, jeez. "what are you tryna watch anyway?"

"get in the bed and you'll see," he grins.

the fuck? wait... i mean, i do kinda need to tell him something so..

"oh, and, shut the door. make sure to lock it too."

"'lock it'?" i stand there nervously.

"we don't want anyone walking in."

huh?

"if one of those scenes happen to come on," he adds like an afterthought.

"oh..." i shut the door and crawl into his bed, sitting up and crossing my legs. "why not just netflix and chill? that dvd player is pretty old; i don't think you can get it to work." i immediately shut my mouth, realising what i said could be taken the wrong way too.

he quits messing about with the player and looks over his shoulder at me with an amused frown, "huh?"

"i meant, like, watch a movie on the laptop. not..y'know. like, literally only a movie and nothing else."

"fine, i suppose you do have a point," he turns off the tv and dvd player before grabbing the laptop and climbing into bed with me. "fuck,” he taps away at the keys, “forgot it was flat.”

"can you just sleep with me instead?"

he raises his eyebrows, surprised.

"next to me! n~not with me!" i quickly clarify before laying down, all red and hot.

i hear the lid of the laptop shut, followed by a swift motion of a shirt being pulled off. the bed dips as a body lies down behind me. gradually, i feel warmth shifting closer to me and the smell of red bull breath. like magnets, we stick together. a hand weaves its way underneath my shirt and i tense up.

"relax," he coos.

his fingers trace over my mini love handles, nearing my belly button. i don't know if i want him to go higher or lower. slightly, i back up into him, rubbing my ass in circular motions on his dick. a grunt leaves his mouth, his hot breath hitting my nape. my respiration elevates and the follicles on my forearms stand up.

"sorry," i sigh.

"don't be. if you like it, keep doing it."

i back up into him further and rest my ass on his bulge. his hand goes higher, tracing the side of my boob, to my underboobs, then to the other side; forming a 'w' in the process.

"you're not wearing a bra.”

"..they're uncomfortable."

he slowly goes up the slopes of my boobs and runs his thumb over my tits, kneading them for a while. "you like this?"

"mhm.."

"how about this?" he skims his hand all the way down to the top of my panties.

i turn a little on my back and buck my hips up, desperately inching my body closer to his fingertips. he inserts his hand and goes past the stubble to reach my throbbing clit. now i can feel the pressure of his dick getting erect and also his hand on my pussy.

"here?" his finger hovers.

"y..yes.."

he tenderly presses down and a moan escapes my mouth.

"you're so sensitive, babysis," he whispers. "i haven't even started."

he rubs my button in a figure 8 which makes me squirm like a worm. his fingers slide in between my moist folds, massaging me, as they go back up again to torture my clit.

"kayrem, please, in..in me."

he puts his mouth next to my ear, "how many?"

"as many as you can fit.."

"on one condition, you have to call me by my middle name from now on, sis."

knots get created in my stomach. knots and crosses. clusters and ravels. memories and misery. no, this cannot be happening again. i was here to talk to him, not play with him.

"stop.”

"what?"

"lavanda," i pull his hand out, "i'm sorry."

he doesn't say anything, but i can tell he's not that happy. i turn to face him. he's lying on his back with an arm crossed behind his head, in a pensive mood. there's a sense of nostalgia dancing in his distant expression as he stares out the skylight. i cuddle up to him, laying an arm and a leg over his torso.

“missed my room,” he murmurs melancholically.

“yeah, think i liked it better as a guest room.”

“shut up,” he rolls his eyes. "…why did you come back, marie?"

"i have something to tell you."

he glances at me curiously with those hazel eyes. how can i get lost in them when i have the exact same colour? his other sleeveless arm lingers over the blanket. i shift closer to him so that my body gently presses into his. he’s warm.

"i'm pregnant."

nothing but tensive as hell silence fills the room.

finally, kayrem exhales loudly, his stomach deflating and my arm lowering with the motion. "why the fuck are you telling me that?" he shoves me away. "i don't care about the shit you do with him. i also don't appreciate you bringing his shit back here."

"your shit."

"what?" he faces me with a blank expression.

"it's yours."

he opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

i sit up criss~cross applesauce. "that night when we did it, i..i haven't gotten my.." i clear my throat and start again. "i haven't gotten my..my.. ugh, sorry," i apologise, picking at my cuticles.

"it's okay. you can tell me. i’m your big brother," kayrem leans up on his elbow and stops me from fidgeting.

"i haven't gotten my period since. isaac said that he could deal with me being.." i gesture with my eyes to my tummy, "but he doesn't know that it's yours. and if he did, i don't know what he'll think of me. i just thought you should know before i did anything.”

“i..uhh…” kayrem scratches the back of his head. "do you know how far along you are?"

i shake my head.

"have you been to the doctors?"

i shake my head again.

"jesus, marie, have you done anything for it?"

no…

"i'm taking you to the docs tomorrow, i don't care," and he slumps back down.

"what, no!"

"you're going."

"i'm not!"

"like, hell."

"for fuck's sake!" i throw my hands up in the air. "i'm not keeping it, okay!”

he glares at me, trying to remain pragmatic, "i'm pretty sure this is the hormones talking, not you."

"don't you dare blame this on the hormones!"

"fine then," he spits out, "why even tell me all this when you could've gotten rid of it back there?! huh!?"

"because you had the right to know,” i murmur sadly.

he closes his eyes and shakes his head with a sigh, "you don't have to get rid of it because of how it came to be. it's selfish..heedless."

i shrug.

“if you’re worried about mother and father, don’t be. as long as i’m here, nobody can hurt you.”

yet he hurts me from simply uttering those weighty words.

"you can still give it up, but don't kill it.”

"we need to… incest and stuff. it’ll look like an alien.”

“incest or love?”

“i don’t love you, loser.”

“listen, we made the risk the moment we decided not to use..” he stops himself, clearly agitated. “anyways, the point is, marie, you're not a killer. you're nowhere close to being like him."

“what did you say?”

"nothing.”

“no, you said something, tell me.”

“dang it," kayrem rolls his eyes frustratedly. "i wasn't supposed to say anything till morning."

"what are you talking about?"

"hey," he grips my hand softly. "c’mon, let's go to sleep."

"no," i snatch my hand back. "i don't want you touching me right now."

he scoffs, "for real?"

i stare at him.

“whatever, get some sleep," and he turns on his other side, throwing the blanket over himself.

"i hate you, kayrem, i really do."

no answer.

i was about to leave his stupid room when the door sways open quietly.

"rosé, are you in here?" maxi's fragile voice wonders.

"buddy, what's up?" kayrem lifts his head up.

"wasn't talkin' to you," maxi mumbles.

"maxi, what happened?" i ask him.

"rosé," he says with relief when he hears my voice, "i..i had a nightmare and it was... it was..." he breaks into tears before having the chance to finish his sentence.

"naw, baby, come here," i hold my arms out.

"it was really scary!" he squeals and runs to me.

"it was just a nightmare, maxi, a bad dream," i console him, wiping his tears away. "it's not real. you have nothing to worry about, i promise."

"can i sleep with you guys, please?" he asks innocently.

“let’s go to my room, okay?”

"of course," kayrem grips my arm. "jump in, maximus. you can sleep in the middle, between me and marie."

"the... the house was on fire," maxi lays down, and i pull the covers over him. "i couldn't find you, rosé. i couldn't find mummy or daddy or kayrem too. when i looked out the window, i saw all of you standing there and smiling at me."

"jesus..." kayrem mutters.

"you know us, maxi," i sweep his locks to the side. "we would never leave you if the house was ever on fire. that wasn't us in your dream. they just looked like us."

"but you left me ~ twice, already."

i have trouble replying, sorta embarrassed, and give kayrem a glance.

"hey, bud, it was just a nightmare, alright?" he decides to step in for me. "nightmares can scare you, but they can't hurt you."

"see, you're safe with us," i add. "now go to sleep," i kiss him on the forehead. "kayrem and i will make sure the monsters can't come and get you."

"yeah, lil bro, your sister and i...we have our ways," he sends me a wink.

ew.

maxi nods, sobbing in my chest, and tries to fall asleep.

"what the fuck kind of movies have you been letting him watch lately?!" i hiss at kayrem.

"just an ep or two of supernatural," he informs me. "didn't think it'd be that bad."

"you didn't think..??" i shake my head in irritation. "you're such an idiot..!"

after 10 minutes or so, i can hear little snores coming from maxi.

kayrem puts his arm across maxi and rests the hand at the end of it on my waist. "kinda like seeing you like this," he whispers. "all protective of him. turns me on...a little."

i punch his shoulder, "nothing's gonna happen between you and i with him here. now shush, you're gonna wake him."

with my eyelids closed, the scent of red bull breath comes even closer, and before i know it, a pair of wet lips have enveloped over mine. i am caught a bit off guard because, like, our little brother is with us, and what if he wakes up? however, this doesn't seem to bother my big brother in the slightest.

there's something mellow about the kiss. it makes me feel safe and sound. i try not to make a sound or get lost in it, but i'm kinda losing it already. he tastes of sin, taurine and the colour red if red had a taste. he sticks his hand under my shirt, egging me on. we're both lowkey squishing burrito maxi in the process.

"fuck, stop, stop..!" i quickly retract.

"he's asleep," kayrem says calmly. "he ain't seein' nothin'," and attempts to find my lips again.

"i don't care. goodnight."

a moment later, kayrem snuggles his head inches away from mine and is like, "this could be us, you know. keep it, please.”

[strangelittlestories]

"So, what do you see?"

The young person looked at the hologram floating in front of them. It was a body.

"It's...me."

Through the grainy translucent light, they could make out the different organs and structures that composed their physical self. As they ran one hand across the hologram to turn it, a number of overlays popped up to give different pieces of information.

"Yep." Said the woman in the lab coat, eyes flashing as a medical HUD relayed the data from the scanners to her corneas. "All the stuff that's moulded you, left its grubby little fingerprints in your clay. Let's see..."

Their muscles in their back carried chemicals from recent stresses and spikes of emotion, ready to be released and visit the ghost of trauma upon them when they fully relaxed.

"Whoa. I've got a bad time ahead of me the next time I get a massage."

"You do indeed. Bring tissues." She paused. "For the tears. Not any gross reason."

"Can we go deeper?" They asked.

The woman in the labcoat nodded her assent.

The hologram swirled and seemed to explode outwards. They moved through a superhighway of blood vessels. Zoomed past constellations of cells.

"Now here's an interesting one..."

Their DNA bore traces of generational wear and tear. The pop-up marked this as likely the result of long-term exposure to circumstances that prevented proper upkeep - like lower socioeconomic status somewhere in their past (back when that was still a thing).

Inequality, not so easily banished as we'd like to think, still left its epigenetic scars.

"That's...wild. Increased risk of heart failure? Because, what? My ancestors lived under capitalism?"

"If you think that's wild, young enby, wait till we get a look at your unconscious biases."

"We can do that?"

Perspective shifted. Briefly the galaxy of light condensed down to a recognisable brain, a lightshow made up of electrified fatty tissue and broadcast in real time.

"It's one of the reasons *why* we do this." The woman in the lab coat blinked twice and areas of the brain swirled and turned into images. "The world that was leaves its marks on us. Not just in the way it writes our meat, but the way it builds our programming."

The young person zoomed in on a childhood memory, made bold and brilliant with all the colours of nostalgia.

"My tenth birthday. Why is this one flagged?"

"Ah, birthdays. Looks like this memory was triggered when you looked at one of the stock images earlier. Could be nothing. Or it could be a little gritty bit of prejudice gumming up the works."

"So...what do we do? Can we, I dunno, take it out?"

The woman in the labcoat looked at them with a 'are you fucking kidding me' kind of look.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Buddy, we don't do brainwashing here. You can't magic yourself different. All you can do is...understand how you're built, where the cracks in your yesterdays are, and build tomorrow to be a bit better."

The young person stared at the memory for a while as it played on loop.

"Not gonna lie. I figured this self-examination thing would be more of a physical. At worst, some gene tampering, y'know, hack my biology a bit. I didn't think I'd have to do hard work and personal growth and shit."

"See, that's the reason I like the Self Exam as a citizenship test." The woman grinned. "Personal growth and shit is the *best* way to hack yourself."

They continued to explore the hologram for some time. In that time, the young person listened. They maybe even learned.

That was the easy bit.

After that, they had to decide what they wanted to change.